


Sleeping Bucky

by TheWinterCaptain



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky is sleepy again, Bucky needs a hug, Cuddles, F/M, Fluff, Hair Playing, he might come into later, hulk hulks out, i'm so bad at tags, reader has a brother, tea is great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 15:03:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3415196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWinterCaptain/pseuds/TheWinterCaptain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You've got a thing for late night pizza and staring at Bucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet Tea for the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably be a few chapters longer, I haven't decided whether I want it to be a oneshot or not. Anyway, hope you enjoy some fluffy cuddles with our favourite assassin!

You plonked down on the soft inviting couch, with a pizza box and a can of Coke in your hands. It was nearing 2 a.m. and all the other Avengers in the tower were seemingly asleep in their rooms. You were often restless at night and had wandered into the kitchen, only to find a box filled with just the crusts of leftover takeout pizza on the counter. Clint knew you had a habit of eating people’s crusts and often left out a box full of them for you.

You shivered and dragged a blanket over your shoulders, nestling back into the cushions of the couch. Crossing your legs and tucking your feet in, you opened the box excitedly and began munching on the soft crust. Suddenly you heard a clatter and glanced behind you. Bucky crept out of the kitchen moments later with a glass of water in his metal hand. You didn’t even notice him walking in. He looked up; only just realising you were there, almost dropping the glass.

“(Y/N), what are you doing up?” he stage-whispered, unsure of how loud he could talk without waking the others. You lifted the cardboard box above your head and grinned, taking another bite.

“Pizza, you want some?” you said, your mouth half full, patting a spot on the couch beside you. Bucky wandered over and frowned slightly at your appearance. Your hair had been thrown into a mess ponytail at the top of your head and you were dressed in loose pants, fluffy socks, and an oversized, faded green t-shirt. He turned his gaze to the box and scowled.

“It’s just the crusts,” he moaned, dropping down next to you. You gasped dramatically.

“Just the crusts? Bucky, my friend, these are not simply crusts, these are the tragically ignored beauties of the art of pizza!” you exclaimed, waving a piece around in your hand and taking a bite. You shoved the box at him and he cautiously picked up the end of a slice.

“Who ate the rest?” he said, surveying the dough hesitantly. You shrugged and he sighed, nibbling at the edges.

“It won’t bite as much as I do, Buck,” you smiled, grabbing the can of Coke and snapping the tab open. The release of air let out a satisfying crackle and the soft drink fizzled quietly. Bucky rolled his eyes and dove in, glancing at you every once and a while. You chugged the cold liquid quickly, containing a burp. You hadn’t known him for long, and you didn’t care what you looked like around him, but you thought it was quite rude to belch right in front of the poor soldier.

“It’s probably none of my business, but did you purposely buy a shirt that’s five sizes too big for you?” he asked. You flicked your eyes down, staring at a fleck of dirt on the floorboards intently and playing with the hem of your shirt. You didn’t reply for some time, until you felt Bucky’s gaze shift from you. I suppose it’s not a big deal to tell him.

“No,” you said eventually, taking a deep breath. Bucky looked at you again, frowning at how pale your skin had gone. “It’s my brother’s. He’s a good few years older than me and moved out before I was even a teenager. Then, because of his job, he moved countries a lot, and I moved here, so we haven’t spoken or seen each other in quite a while. He gave me a couple of his old t-shirts and hoodies that he didn’t have space for before leaving, and I wear them a lot because they still smell a bit like him.”

You gave a soft smile, still looking at the ground. You remembered all the times he teased you about being so much shorter than him, and how you always looked up to him, wishing you could be like him when you were older. He was your inspiration, and you never told him that enough. A tear found its way out of your eye and you quickly sniffled and tried to wipe it away before a hand reached up and caught yours. You looked up, tensing, to see Bucky staring at you, grasping your hand tightly, with a look of concern in his eyes. You gave him a weak smile and he pulled you towards him into a tight hug.

You softened at his embrace, his skin emanating a smell of soap and sweat, not the overpowering kind, but a comforting, masculine scent. You wrapped your arms around him, the blanket falling off of your shoulders. You felt so safe in his arms and you never wanted to let go.

“Thanks for the pizza,” he whispered in your ear and you giggled lightly, pulling away from him. He reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. So cliché. You couldn’t help but blush at his stare. God, he’s so attractive. You had developed a crush on him the moment Steve brought him to the Avenger’s Tower but you knew that he was still slightly unstable. You cursed yourself for thinking about him that way, there’s no way he could ever like you, and especially the way you looked like right now.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked suddenly. You snapped out of your reverie and blinked.

“What?”

“You looked a little…distant for a minute,” he smirked. You blushed and looked away.

“Nothing, I was just thinking how you’ve opened up a whole lot more since you moved here, you’re kind of becoming more like your old self again, it’s nice,” you smiled sweetly, taking a bite of the forgotten pizza crusts.

“Thanks doll,” he winked, stealing your can of Coke off the table and downing the rest of it. Your playful glare was interrupted by a yawn and you covered your gaping mouth with your hand. It took a moment to realise that you were almost sitting on Bucky’s lap and scooted back quickly, afraid that he might think you were too close. He frowned slightly at the sudden movement but relaxed his features when he saw a blush creep up on your cheeks.

“You wanna sleep?” Bucky said, stretching out on the couch beside you. You stared at him as he threw an arm over the back of the couch.

“H-here?” you exclaimed, your eyes widening. Bucky laughed at your expression and nodded, looking you in the eye. The thought of cuddling up next to Bucky had come into your mind a lot more than you’d like to admit and now that the opportunity had arisen, you weren’t going to pass it up. You lay down next to him, resting your head on his chest as he dragged the blanket back over the both of you. You snuggled closely to him as he wrapped his arms around you and your eyelids dropped, slowly falling asleep to the steady sound of Bucky’s heartbeat as he held you tighter.

~

You woke up to the sound of the whistle of a kettle and the smell of bacon cooking. You groaned and went to rub your eyes with your hand, only to find it stuck underneath something heavy. You squinted to see a metal arm draped over yours. It was attached to a snoring Bucky, who was still sleeping soundly. You lightly lifted his arm and wiggled out from his grasp, rolling onto the floor with a flop. You stood up and stretched, wincing as your muscles popped. Glancing back at Bucky, you couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked with his hair a mess and his mouth slightly open. You wandered to the kitchen to find Steve standing over the stove, turning over a batch of sizzling bacon and sipping on a cup of coffee.

“Hey Steve,” you said groggily, reaching up and taking your favourite cup down from the press. As went about making a cup of tea, you caught Steve looking at you and smirking. You gave him a questioning look.

“Sleep well, (Y/N)?” he winked uncharacteristically.

“Are you implying something, Capsicle?” you asked, narrowing your eyes as you took a sip of the hot cup of tea in your hands.

“No… Just I saw your sleeping arrangements this morning,” he said, nudging you lightly. You blushed and looked into your cup. “I..um…I think that’s the best night sleep he’s had in long time, no nightmares or anything.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, he isn’t the best at sharing his feelings and stuff, but it’s pretty obvious that he likes...” Steve began before Bucky walked in, leaning against the doorframe.

“Likes what?” he asked, a smirk playing at his lips.

“Tea!” Steve blurted out. “(Y/N) makes a great cup of tea.” Bucky narrowed his eyes at Steve and walked into the kitchen, taking a seat on a chair by the breakfast bar.

“The trick is lots of sugar,” you grinned, elbowing Steve before stealing a piece of bacon from the plate he was dishing up. “I could make you some if you want, Buck.”

“Sure thing, doll,” Bucky winked and you grabbed a cup and made him some tea, dumping three spoons of sugar into it. You handed him the cup and he took a sip and sighed, smiling. “Just as sweet as you.”

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Steve said as he wolfed down his breakfast, taking his coffee cup with him. When he was gone, you took the seat next to Bucky and broke the piece of bacon and handed him the bigger half. He smiled brightly and threw it into his mouth.

“Miss (Y/L/N), you’re requested to be in the lobby for a mission in a half an hour,” a clipped English accent called out over an intercom system. You sighed and gulped the rest of your tea down; ignoring the way the scalding liquid burned your throat.

“Thanks J.A.R.V.I.S.,” you said loudly and heaved yourself up off the chair. “Catch you later, Bucky.” You leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Before you turned around you could have sworn you saw him raise his hand to touch the place you kissed him with his human hand.

You skipped out of the kitchen and towards your room, getting changed and ready for your mission, but all the while thinking about last night and how good it felt to be in Bucky’s arms.


	2. Bucky Suits French

You returned from your mission the next day, disgruntled and exhausted. Your whole cover had been blown and now you were going to have to assemble an alibi and a new disguise, just because Clint couldn’t keep it in his damn pants. Natasha did have an amazing body but that was no excuse to get distracted in the middle of a freaking mission and drop you right into a HYDRA base. You had gotten out with barely a scratch and the only casualties belonged to the opposing force, but it could have been easily avoided.

“Why the long face?” Clint nudged you with his shoulder lightly with a toothy grin.

“Just because you got a good view of Nat’s ass doesn’t mean the entire mission was a success, Bird Brain!” you exclaimed, shoving him away. He meowed and pretended to claw at you and you held back a smile and rolled your eyes.

“What about my ass?” Natasha slipped in between you and Clint with a small smirk on her face.

“Nothing you don’t know already,” you said with a smile before trudging wearily down the hall towards your room. You passed Steve’s room and heard voices coming from the slightly ajar door. You leaned against the doorway softly and listened intently.

“Bucky c’mon, you can tell me,” you heard Steve plead. You could tell without even looking that he was smiling.

“Yeah Steve, I know,” Bucky replied flatly with a hint of annoyance.

“She’s been gone a day and you’ve done nothing but mope, you like her don’t you?” Steve pressed, obviously delighted with his observation. Bucky snarled in response and both went quiet for a moment before Bucky sighed.

“Shut up Steve, we’ll talk about it later okay?” he said eventually. You heard heavy footsteps walk towards the door and you skirted away from it, jogging slightly down the hall to make it look like you hadn’t been eavesdropping. 

Once you were a couple of doors down, you slowed down and turned back to see Bucky shutting the door silently. Time to play it cool.

“What up, Buck?” you said as cheerily as possible, considering your aching muscles were threatening to let you drop to the floor at any moment.

“Oh (Y/N), hey, how was the mission?” he said with a small smile.

“Clint’s pigheadness got us compromised,” you said, forgetting that Bucky didn’t know how the mission went down. He cocked his head like a little puppy and looked at you with a confused expression. “Never mind, I’m heading for a shower now but do you want to hang out afterwards?”

“Love to, I’ll be in the living room,” he said with a nod. You smiled and turned to walk away when Bucky noticed your limp from where Clint had dropped you.

“(Y/N), are you okay? Do you need help?” he asked quickly, a concerned expression washing over his face. You hesitated for a moment but didn’t have a chance to reply as he slipped his metal arm around your waist and held you up slightly so that you could walk easily to your room. Once you stepped in the door, you turned to face him and he let his hand settle at your hip. You blushed as his conversation with Steve popped into your mind. 

“I think I can handle it from here,” you murmured, attempting not to lean in to his touch but the temptation was strong. Bucky’s cheeks were dusted a rosy pink after realising how close he was standing, quickly withdrawing his hand.

“Thanks for the help, I’ll catch you in like 10 to 15 minutes?” you said, touching the back of his with your fingertips. His eyes softened when your skin touched his and he nodded with a little smirk. You turned and hobbled to your bathroom after he left, cursing yourself for ruining the moment. Could he really like you?! 

You sighed and let the hot water wash over you, releasing your muscles of tension and cleaning your skin of dirt, sweat, and Bucky’s brief touch. Once you were finished, you plaited your damp hair and threw on a pair of loose pants and a t shirt.

Wandering down to the living room, you found Bucky sitting on one of the plush couches with two mugs of tea sitting in front of him on the coffee table. One of them was your favourite cup. You couldn’t help but grin happily as you tossed yourself down onto the couch next to him.

“Why James, would that tea in my favourite cup be for me?” you teased as he reached forward, picking both of the cups up and handing you one.

“I’ve been practising,” he said softly, watching you take the first sip. You sighed contently as the sweet, hot liquid warmed your insides.

“And you’ve already perfected it, my friend!” you exclaimed, clinking your cup on the side of his. He smiled brightly at your comment and downed his tea quickly, paying no heed to its temperature. You cradled your cup in your hands and hummed quietly to yourself. You felt a hand reach up and stroke your plaited hair gently, and looked over to see Bucky frowning at it, twisting the end between his fingers.

“You like it?” you asked, a smirk playing at your lips.

“Yeah, it’s pretty,” he said simply. An idea popped into your head and you set your cup down and clapped your hands excitedly.

“I’ve just had to best idea ever!” you exclaimed. “Sit on the floor in front of me.”

Bucky looked at you with a look of confusion but obliged to your command. You crossed your legs on the couch and he rested his head back on the couch between your knees. You ran your fingers through his messy brown hair, untangling it as much as possible before starting to French plait it. It only took a couple of minutes and you pulled a hair tie off of your wrist, tying the end of his hair with it. Leaning back, you admired your handiwork and turned his head from side to side to see if you missed any bits.

“What did you do?” he asked, sitting impatiently as you played with the loose bits of hair that framed his face.

“French plait,” you smiled, patting the top of his head gently. You sensed someone walk up behind you and you turned to see Steve standing behind the couch, stifling a laugh.

“How do I look, Steve?” Bucky said with a wink.

“Beautiful, Bucky, just majestic,” Steve grinned, leaning over to pat him on the shoulder. And then maniacal laughter filled the room as Tony doubled over, gripping his sides.

“You are so whipped, Frosty!” he cried, wiping a tear from his eye.

“Never mind them Bucky, can I play with your hair more?” you asked sweetly, rubbing his shoulders. He merely shrugged, settling into a comfortable position in front of you. 

You took out the hair tie and undid the plait, working your fingers through the knots once again and stroking his soft locks for what felt like an hour at least. Bucky’s eyes had drifted closed and yours were beginning to droop again, until a loud crash caused both of you to sit up straight, startled.

Bucky woke up, looking around wildly, a look of fear in his eyes. You reached out to touch his face when he turned towards you and you shushed him gently.

“It’s okay, James, it was just a loud noise, you’re okay, do you remember me?” you reeled in the most soothing voice you could muster. He blinked and nodded, but was still tense. You shimmied off of the couch and sat beside him, taking his hand in yours. You felt him relax slightly as you squeezed his human hand, stroking the back of it with you thumb. He let out a breath that both of you hadn’t known he was holding in and he smiled weakly at you.

“Sorry, I guess I’m not fully recovered yet,” he said, dropping his gaze.

“Nobody expects you to be, you’re doing amazingly well, don’t forget that,” you said reassuringly. “Wanna go check out what the hell that was?”

He nodded and stood up, pulling you up gently without letting go of your hand. You both wandered down the hall, you still limping, to find a panting Tony sprinting out of the lap, a look of fear and humour conveyed on his face.

“Oh fuck, Tony did you do what I think you did?” you asked, afraid of the answer.

“It wasn’t on purpose, I swear!” Tony huffed, backing away from the direction of one of the labs, as a roar rippled through the tower.

“What’s happening?” Bucky said, oblivious to Tony’s habit of setting off the Other Guy.

“Jesus, Buck, we gotta run now, unless you want to get smashed in the worst sense of the word by a giant green guy with an affection for purple!” you exclaimed, watching the realisation hit Bucky like a slap in the face. He hoisted you onto his back in one swift motion and ran back to the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time and stopping when he reached your floor. He didn’t let you off of his back until you had safely entered your room and the door was shut tight. 

He walked to the bed and set you down gently; panting ever so slightly but he hadn’t even broken a sweat. He really is a super soldier. You flopped onto your bed, exhausted from the adrenaline rush, despite not having ran at all. Bucky lay down next to you, staring at the ceiling.

“Does that happen often?” he frowned.

“More often than you would think,” you admitted and he turned his head towards you. Glancing down at his human hand that was just inches away from yours, you sighed. “I was just about to fall asleep.”

“I was already gone,” he smirked. His features started blurring as you stared at him with sleepy eyes. You felt his slid into yours and a pair of lips touch your nose and you smiled before drifting off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure how I would play that out, but sorry for it ending so abruptly! I think the next chapter might be smutty, or at least things are gonna get a little bit less platonic between Bucky and reader, anyway, don't forget to leave suggestions and thanks for reading xx


	3. Well That Escalated Quickly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance if this is awful, it was my first time writing smut.
> 
> I wrote this to Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys and Touch by Troye Sivan so I would recommend reading it to that, might be cool idk

When you woke, you found yourself wrapped in strong arms, leaning into Bucky’s chest. At least you hoped it was him. You pulled away slightly and felt the cool metal slide across your skin, confirming your thoughts. Bucky opened his eyes when he felt you move and let out a goofy, lopsided grin as you peered into his blue eyes. He didn’t have a chance to put on a cool front, and you didn’t mind one bit.

“Morning,” he whispered. It was actually still dark out and the moon was the only light that was cast upon both of you at the moment.

“You’re internal clock must be a bit off,” you murmured softly. Bucky didn’t reply, but stared at you, his gaze flickering from your eyes to your lips. “Bucky…” You were about to ask him if he was okay when he cut you off with a gentle kiss. His soft, warm lips met yours and you almost gasped as a spark of electricity seemed to ignite from the contact. His metal hand, which had previously been on your hip, traced your jaw gentle, shifting to cup the back of your neck. You broke the kiss for a moment to whisper his name, before catching his lips in yours again, this time with passion and hunger.

You lifted your hand to run it through his hair, grabbing a handful with a clenched fist. He growled and smirked into the kiss. Maybe he’s got a hair thing? You shook the thought out of your head when he brushed your bottom lip with his tongue, asking for an invitation which you gladly gave him. The second you opened your mouth, he slipped his tongue in and took a moment to adjust to the unfamiliar territory. He was almost hesitant and sloppy, as if this was his first kiss since the 40’s, but he quickly regained his confidence and skill after a moment. The hand he had placed on your neck retracted to ever-so lightly trace down along your shoulder, the cool metal setting fire to your skin. You let out a small moan and curled your toes; just the thought of him touching you like that sent your heart beating erratically. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, kissing along your cheek and neck, biting softly. You bit your lip and shut your eyes, gripping his hair tighter. You felt the ache in your stomach spike when he suddenly flipped you onto your back, hovering over you with hungry eyes and an arrogant smirk playing at his lips. His fingers danced along the hem of your shirt, dragging it up to bare your stomach at an agonisingly slow pace. You huffed and pushed his hands away and pulled the shirt over your head in one swift movement.

“Don’t you know never to tease a girl,” you said with a wink, capturing his lips in yours once again, feeling cold and empty without his touch. He nipped at your lip playfully and ran his hands slowly along your waist and up your stomach, pausing when he reached your bra. You shivered with anticipation and arched your back so that he could undo the clasp and pull it away from you, tossing it behind him somewhere. He stopped to stare at you and you suddenly felt conscious that he was still fully dressed. Even if there was just a shirt between your bodies, it was still too much. As if he was a mind reader, he pulled off his t shirt and you almost let your mouth fall open. You marvelled at his body, his chest rock hard and muscular, and his stomach toned and god-like. You couldn’t help but run your hands from his shoulders to his hips, taking care to trace the place where his metal arm met his skin with light, trembling fingers. 

“Well you shouldn’t be the only one who gets to touch,” he snarled seductively and began to suck and nip around your breast. The moans escaped your lips constantly and you felt heat pool between your legs. You had had enough of his teasing, and you were going to get what you want. You pushed back on his shoulders so that he stood up on his knees in front of you. You crawled towards him and pulled at the waistband of his jeans, hearing a soft purr as you pulled at the zipper. He took your hands in his and shook his head, placing them on the edge of your pants. Laying you back down, he slipped the fabric down past your waist, knees and feet, so that you were just in your white, lacy underwear. You closed your eyes for a moment as you felt a shiver run over your skin and opened them when a weight had shifted from the bed. Bucky stood beside the bed, already out of his jeans and just moments away from slipping off his boxers when he caught you looking and paused, giving you an embarrassed and endearing smile.

You grinned lightly and stood up in front of him, shifting his hands so that they rested on the edge of your panties. He glanced up to meet your eyes and you gave him a reassuring nod, kissing him softly on the cheek. You reached towards his boxers just as he pulled yours down and you did the same with his. You couldn’t help but widen your eyes and give a small gasp. Whether he was that big before hand, there was no way of telling, but the super-soldier serum certainly worked out well in his favour. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, feeling his hardness press against you. At this point, if you didn’t get more physical contact than this, you were going to collapse. As if sensing your impatience, Bucky grasped your hips and heaved you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. You tugged on his hair as you felt him slid into you. It took a moment for you to adjust to his size – boy was there a lot to adjust to – and you both fell back onto the bed in a moment of passion.

You grinded against him causing him to growl and bury his face into the crook of your neck. He steadied himself with his metal arm on the bed and began to move slowly, rocking his hips and stretching your walls. You moaned unconsciously and felt the knot in your stomach tighten, thrilling sensations shuddering through your body. As his pace quickened, you felt your back arch into him and you bit your lip, stars splaying against your vision each time he hit your core. His animalistic groans made you quiver and you dug your nails into his back. The feeling of Bucky’s thrusts soon evaporated into a shared moment of pure ecstasy as you both reached your high. The world melted around you and there was only this moment, a sensation of both numbness and crippling pleasure washed over you, spreading throughout your body from your core. Bucky’s name escaped from your lips as you felt him buck, panting heavily above you. 

He pulled out and collapsed beside you, his breathing just as unstable as yours. You turned your head to face him and grinned. He looked at you curiously before letting out a short laugh.

“Well… That escalated quickly,” he exclaimed, hardly containing his smile. You couldn’t help but giggle and he pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around you.

“Glad to see you’re catching up on pop culture,” you said, tracing circles on his chest with your free hand. You felt him sigh happily as his breathing became more regular and his heart beat thudded in a rhythmic state.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering…” he began, taking your hand into his. You could hear his heart beat pick up speed slightly and he cleared his throat loudly.

“Go ahead.”

“Would you maybe want to go steady with me?” he blurted out. You sat up and squeezed his hand, kissing him softly.

“James, sweetheart, we just had sex. It’s pretty much a given what my answer is,” you giggled.

“I just want to hear you say it, doll,” he smirked, calling on some of his old charm.

“Okay you win. James Buchanan Barnes, I would happily be your girlfriend,” you said, resting your head against his chest.

“One more thing, do people still say ‘going steady’?”

You snorted and shook your head.

“Oh Bucky, just go to sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried okay!
> 
> Let me know if it was alright or if there's anything I can do better on! xx


	4. Whipped Cream Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be fooled by the chapter title, it's not all kinky smut, it's just hot chocolate!

When you walked to the kitchen the next morning with Bucky’s hand in yours, it wasn’t much of a surprise to the others. You stared at the ground as the blush began to creep across your cheeks and Bucky pulled you closer to him and squeezed your hand. You took a seat in between him and Steve at the table and saw the smirk on Steve’s face from the corner of your eye. It wasn’t until the end of breakfast that the show began.

“So where’s Bruce? Still cooling off?” you said, chewing your pancake and taking a sip of tea.

“Crap…” Tony muttered.

“Tony…”

“He’s still um locked in the panic room…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Shit,” Nat jumped up from the table and walked out towards one of the labs on the far end of the Tower. “I’ll let him out.”

“Speaking of last night, caught some action did you, Frostie?” Tony winked at Bucky, who smirked and put his arm around you in a reply.

“What’s it to you, Iron Ass?” you snapped and rolled your eyes. Clint snickered from the end of the table.

“Did Brother James take part in a brawl?” Thor said while shovelling down a poptart, a confused expression on his face.

“Well I always thought (Y/N) liked it rough,” Tony grinned before Bucky swung a metal arm at his face. He ducked just in time and Bucky’s fist hit the air, falling down to his side.

“Watch it Weiner Soldier, I’m the one paying for the food,” Tony chided with a toothy grin. Bucky growled and you grabbed his arm and pulled him towards you.

“Back off, Tony,” Steve said, standing in between him and Bucky.

“Capsicle, sweetheart, you’re taking his side over mine?” Tony pouted and crossed his arms.

“I was unaware of your affections to Brother Steve, Brother Anthony!” Thor boomed happily and brought them into a bone-crushing hug. Steve squirmed and you actually witnessed Bucky crack a smile, along with Clint howling with laughter on the floor.

“No Thor, I think he was just kidding,” Steve muttered, wiggling out of Thor’s grasp and turning scarlet.

“James, want to go for a walk?” you whisper to Bucky while he was distracted. He turned towards you and gave a small smile, taking your hand once again.

“Piggy back ride?” he said with a smirk. You grinned and jumped on his back, wrapping your legs around his middle and arms around his neck.

“Don’t expect all piggy backs to end the same,” you teased, digging his sides and clicking your tongue.

“I’m not a horse, doll.”

“Guess I can’t ride you then.” You could feel Bucky laugh underneath you and his ears went pink. You let go of his neck and played with his hair, until you reached his room and he let you down gently on the couch.

“Movie?” you suggested, switching on his TV. You still had your suspicions on whether he actually knew how to work it or not. “Got anything specific on your list?”

He pulled out a small notebook – similar to Steve’s – from his pocket and tossed it towards you. You flicked through the pages and found something that made you squeal and he frowned at you.

~

 

“What does ‘fetch’ mean?” Bucky asked thirty minutes later, pausing the movie.

“Buck, Regina will ask that in the next sentence, just watch the movie,” you said, exasperated at Bucky’s impatience. “Please leave all questions until the hot chocolate intermission.”

~

“So is it actually slang from England?”

“No, it was just some word she made up,” you smiled, stirring the pot of milk and cocoa powder. “What else?”

“What’s a dyke? And a skitch?” Bucky asked, pulling out two mugs and a box of marshmallows from the cupboard.

“It is to my understanding that a dyke is an embankment created out of rocks and debris that is built up on either side of a river, like an artificial levee,” J.A.R.V.I.S. stated. Bucky flinched at the sudden sound of the AI and shook his head, muttering something about computers and no privacy.

“How could Janice be built up along the side of a river…” Bucky frowned.

“I don’t think that’s what they were referring to in the movie, J.A.R.V.I.S.,” you said, giggling.

“My apologies, madam.”

“This is done,” you said, grabbing the cups and carefully pouring the hot chocolate into them. Bucky watched as you piled them with whipped cream and marshmallows, and sprinkled the top with a light dusting of the cocoa powder. Hot chocolate was your specialty.

“TA-DAH!” you exclaimed, presenting him with your masterpiece. He took the cup from your hands and kissed you gently on the cheek. You watched him take the first sip and smirked as he’s eyes widened and he was left with a cream moustache. You stifled a laugh just as Steve and Thor strolled into the kitchen, chatting about something. Steve stopped dead in his tracks and let out a wide smile at the sight of Bucky’s face.

“Finally growing the old moustache Buck? Gotta say, it looks like old age caught up to you, it’s looking fairly white,” Steve grinned, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. It wasn’t often you saw Steve joke with others, he was just so comfortable with Bucky. It was so adorable!

Bucky frowned again and raised his hand to wipe away the moustache. You burst out laughing and had to put your cup back on the counter so you didn’t spill it when you doubled over and clutched your stomach. As you straightened up, Bucky laughed sarcastically and wiped a giant dollop of cream onto your nose. You crossed your eyes to look at your nose as Thor walked over and stuck his finger on it and scooped up some cream.

“Devine!” he boomed as he licked his finger. You glowered at Bucky and he just smirked and licked the rest of the cream off of your nose.

“Gross, Bucky!” you shouted, wiping your nose with your sleeve and shoving his shoulder lightly. 

“You guys are too cute,” Steve swooned dramatically.

“Shut up, punk,” you and Bucky said in unison. Steve laughed wholeheartedly and walked out of the kitchen with Thor at his heels.

“So, are we going to finish watching Mean Girls?” you asked, cradling your hot chocolate in your cold hands and pressing your forehead against Bucky’s chest. Him being so much taller than you was a giant plus on the relationship side of things.

“Okay, though I didn’t really know it was a movie at all, someone just said I needed to check it out,” He said wrapping his free arm around your waist. After a minute of standing there in silence, enjoying being close to each other, you were interrupted by the electronic, English voice that filled the room so suddenly that Bucky nearly dropped his cup.

“Sorry to interrupt Miss (Y/L/N) but-”

“No way, do not tell me I’m being sent on another mission!” you exclaimed angrily.

“Actually, you have a visitor,” J.A.R.V.I.S. replied, somehow sounding like he (or it) was pissed off.

“Who?”

“It would appear to be your brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it, i didn't really know what I was doing and just kind of winged it when writing this but let me know! xx


	5. Sweet Suit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo readers brother is in this (obviously) and I couldn't decide whether to have it as (Y/B/N) like Your Brothers Name or just some random name, so I went with the latter. I'm sorry I'm pretty bad at writing Bucky's character but I hope it works!

You rushed out of the kitchen into stood in front of the elevator, waiting for it to arrive on your floor. You rocked back and forth of your heels and toes and crossed your arms. Bucky followed you out and stood beside you, placing a hand on your shoulder. You felt him stiffen and glanced up as an uncomfortable expression crossed his features as he looked at his metal hand.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, running towards the stairs and up to his room.

“Don’t be too long,” you called out before the door shut behind him. You sighed and couldn’t help but fidget with the ends of your hair. What is he doing here? How did he know where to even go?! The elevator dinged and you whipped your head up to watch the doors slide open to reveal your brother standing there.

“Ryan?”

“(Y/N)!” he said breathlessly, as if he ran here. Just as he stepped out of the lift, Bucky rushed in, now donning a hoodie with long sleeves that covered most of his hands. He looked from you and your brother and walked slowly towards you.

“Bucky, this is my brother, Ryan. Ryan, this is my… boyfriend, Bucky,” you said awkwardly, making gestures between them. Your brother strode towards you, running a hand through his hair that was the same colour as yours. He stretched out his right hand to shake Bucky’s and you felt him sigh in relief, grabbing it with his human hand shaking it with a small, forced smile.

“Well kiddo, times really have changed, you look great!” Ryan said, pulling you into a tight hug. You grinned and the familiar scent of him washed over you and you sighed happily before pulling away.

“You too, nice suit by the way,” you commented, with a smile.

“Comes with the job, nice t-shirt sis,” he winked. You looked down and realised you were wearing one of his old shirts and blushed slightly, laughing at the irony.

“So what are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you but…. How did you find me?” you blurted it out, still in shock about your brother actually being here, in the Avenger’s Tower of all places.

“I’m here in New York on a case, and I heard you were a big shot living with the Avengers!” he exclaimed, patting your shoulder and smiling widely. “Last time I saw you, you were my little nerd who kept stealing all of my books and clothes, now you’re here.”

“Just because she wasn’t there for that alien invasion doesn’t mean that she’s not a real member of the Avengers,” Bucky snapped with hostility. You elbowed him in the stomach lightly and shot him a look.

“I don’t think that’s what he meant, Buck. Trust me, if you saw me when I was a teenager, you’d know that I was exactly what it sounds, and nobody would have thought I’d have made it into a job like this,” you said, reminiscing slightly about your adolescence filled with an obsession of books, dragons, and fanfiction.

“I’m so proud, kid,” Ryan said, ruffling your hair affectionately.

“I learn from the best,” you smiled at him. “So how long are you here for?”

“At least a week, depending on how things go down with the job.”

“Ryan! You should stay here! Tony won’t mind at all,” you exclaimed excitedly and jumped up and down. You felt Bucky watching you and glanced at him to see he had visibly become less tense and awkward; a smirk had replaced his features.

“I’d love to, but I’ve already got a place set up. Besides, I really don’t want to be in the way,” he said, surveying the surrounding room. His eyes travelled from the flat screen TV to the arrangement of couches and expensive items that were scattered around the room. “You got a nice set up here, though.”

“Are you sure?” you said, slightly deflated. You stopped hopping and looked at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Positive, but we definitely need to spend as much time as possible together before I head off. Speaking of which, I really have to go, I only called over to let you know I was around, I’ll give you a ring later?”

“Oh… yeah, sure,” you said, trying to not sound disappointed. 

“Great to see you (Y/N). Nice to meet you too, Bucky,” he said brightly. You hugged him tightly before he stepped back into the elevator and waved good bye. When the doors closed you felt Bucky slip an arm around your waist and you leaned into him.

“So that was the famous brother of (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” he said softly.

“Seeing as you’re the only one who knows about him, I wouldn’t use the word ‘famous’,” you said, taking his hand in yours and leading him back to the kitchen.

“You okay, doll?” he said, pulling at your hand so you faced him. His blue eyes stared into yours seriously and it took a lot of self control not to melt right there. You sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, I’m just… still processing what happened. I mean he’s here. It’s been so long. And he’s actually here in city,” you said, feeling slightly overwhelmed. Suddenly all of your doubts and insecurities resurfaced. “Oh my god, what if we’ve completely lost connection, I mean, what if we can’t fall into the same flow. I was really upset when he left, and we lost contact, what if that happens again? What if this will just be built up so that I’ll just be left without a family again? What if he leaves me?” you stammered, tears falling down your face. Your chest started heaving as you struggled to find your breath. Bucky stared at you with wide eyes. You guessed he probably wasn’t used to being the one that wasn’t freaking out in a situation, but he recognised that you were having a panic attack.

“(Y/N), listen to me, take a deep, slow breath,” he instructed, taking both of your hands in his and took a deep breath himself so that you could copy him. After about five seconds, he let the breath out and you copied. “You’re doing great, just keep doing that.” Once you caught your breath you let out a small laugh and wiped the tears from your face.

“I’m acting crazy, I know, it’s just seeing him again… it brought up all the feelings I had when I was a teenager. It’s been a really long time since I’ve freaked out like that,” you admitted, trying to ignore the feeling of guilt that built up inside you. You hated confiding in people and coming off as weak and helpless. Talking about your fears of abandonment to someone who was captured, tortured and experimented on by HYDRA, was brainwashed to kill innocent (and not so innocent) people, and could barely go a few days without relapsing into his assassin mode probably wasn’t the best idea. You didn’t want to burden Bucky with all of your problems but he seemed to want to help, and you didn’t know why, but you felt like you could trust him with anything.

“Now, will those work in a ‘microwave’?” Bucky said, gesturing to the abandoned mugs of hot chocolate and using air quotes on the word ‘microwave’. You laughed and nodded, and set the timer to one minute.

“I’ll be right back,” you said walked out to the living room, realising you had left your phone on one of the couches when Ryan had arrived.

“Hurry back, doll.”

Once you grabbed your phone, you heard the microwave beep loudly and there was a piercing crash. You rushed in to find Bucky standing against the wall and a large knife plunged into the door of the microwave.

“What the hell happened?!” You shouted, walking cautiously towards the appliance and swinging the door open. Sparks emitted from some loose wires and you squealed and jumped back. Bucky growled from across the room and you opened the door fully and sighed in relief. The hot chocolate was still okay.

“Bucky?”

“I just… I didn’t expect it to…” he trailed off, muscles flexing as he clenched his jaw. You picked up the cups and took a sip out of yours.

“Apart from some melted cream, it’s alright,” you smiled gently. “Oh and the knife in the microwave, but we’ll let Tony handle that.”

Bucky smiled weakly and took the cup from you. He rolled his shoulders back to stretch and downed the hot chocolate.

“Are you okay?” you asked, trying to mask the pang of empathy you felt for him.

“I guess, I let down my guard and it just kind of… shocked me,” he replied, looking weary.

“I’m so sorry, it’s my fault, I forgot you haven’t used to the appliances here and then I threw you off with my stupid problems. Don’t worry about anything okay, you’re perfectly safe here. And don’t even think about the microwave, Tony can deal with that.” You plastered a reassuring smile on your face and rubbed his forearm comfortingly.

“I’m fine, I think. We can watch the rest of the film if you want?” he said, perking up a bit at your touch.

“Sure!”

You weren’t sure how the two of you had become so comfortable around each other, even though you were dating (yes just since last night but still), but it was just so natural. You hooked your arm into his and dragged him down to his room, trying not to think about explaining how your boyfriend was an ex-assassin to your brother later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I was bad at writing Bucky! I just kind of attempt to do a mix of unstable teetering on the edge or relapse, and confident Buck from the 40's.  
> If you want me to choose between those two, please let me know!  
> ALSO QUICK UNRELATED POLL:  
> What are your opinions on pixie cuts vs growing hair out? (I'm a girl btw)  
> xx


	6. Noteworthy Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this one has ZERO FLUFF GUYS! If you're here for fluff, then back away because there is now a plot!!

You groaned as your phone vibrated ignorantly on your bedside locker. Crawling out from under the covers, you squinted through the darkness and fumbled for the device blindly. When you unlocked it, you winced in pain as a painfully bright light was emitted from the screen. It was so bright you almost sneezed.

'Hey, just getting ready for a morning meeting now but do you want to meet for lunch? – Ryan'

You stared at the text until your eyes adjusted and the words stopped blurring together. You were too tired to even comprehend how he had gotten your new number, being a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent meant you weren’t as easy to find as looking you up in the phone book. You glanced at the time in the top right hand corner of the screen. 6:04. What the hell?!

'Okay, text me where and when later. Good luck with the meeting xx'

You punched the buttons in lazily and hit send rolling over and falling back to sleep with the phone still in your hand.

 

“(Y/N), wake up,” a voice said loudly, pushing your shoulder to turn you onto your back.

“Sleep, shhhh,” you muttered in slurred speech. You felt a hand on either shoulder, shaking you gently. When you didn’t open your eyes, the hands left your shoulder and a moment later, your curtains were thrown open. You winced at the sunlight that streamed in and covered your eyes with one hand. You realised you were holding your phone and unlocked it to see that it was 8:28.

“Get up!” Clint flicked you on the shoulder and you glared back at him.

“Why? It’s not like we’ve got a… Oh no. Please Clint. Tell me we don’t!” you moaned, sitting up in your bed and pushing your unruly hair away from your face.

“Yep, Coulson wants us in the Quinjet in 20,” he reported grimly. He looked just as sleep deprived as you felt as he yawned and rubbed his eyes with two balled up fists.

“Who’s coming with us?” 

“Just you, me, and Nat,” he said, his lip twitching at the edge when he said your best friend’s name.

“Alright lover boy, I just need fifteen minutes. Get out so I can shower,” you ordered, sliding out of bed and pushing him out the door.

“We’re all friends here (Y/N),” he winked and wiggled his eyebrows before you shoved him out of the room. You jumped into the shower quickly, taking only 5 minutes to attempt to wake yourself up and quickly wash up. Once you were ready, you slid your jumpsuit and gear on. A handprint analyser opened a hidden vault in which you stored most of your weapons. Strapping as many tactical belts and gun holsters onto your body as you could, you stocked them with artillery and ammo. You were just pulling on your boots when there was a soft knock on the door.

“Come on!” you yelled, pulling on a pair of gloves. You looked up to see Steve enter sheepishly; obviously afraid he might walk in on you changing or something.

“Hey, someone left a message for you,” he said, wringing his hands. You frowned at the strange expression on his face.

“Is it urgent? I’m kind of rushing here,” you urged, trying to make him spit out whatever it was that he had to say.

“Just run down to the main floor, I’ll tell the others you’ll be along soon enough,” he said vaguely before turning and walking out of the room. You wracked your brain for a reason he might be acting so strangely but nothing came to mind so you grabbed the bag that you always had packed with spare clothes out from under your bed and jogged down to the main level of the tower. When you reached the elevator, there was a note on one of the small desks next to it with your name on it. A smell of roses drifted from the paper but you shrugged it off and picked it up in your gloved hand.

'Meet me at the pizza place two blocks right from the tower at 1.  
-R'

Why would he send a note? Why wouldn’t he just text? You couldn’t remember if there were any texts or missed calls on your phone and you had left it upstairs. You were already running late and didn’t have to stop on your floor again. You glanced around when you heard a door opening and Bucky walked in.

“Bucky! Could you do me a huge favour?” you pleaded, already turning on the puppy dog eyes.

“Anything for my girl,” he smirked, wrapping an arm around you. You smiled and blushed softly.

“I’m heading off for a mission and my brother thinks we’re meeting for lunch but I haven’t got time to tell him I can’t. He left me this note but if he calls back could you tell him I’m not around, and if he doesn’t could you maybe go to the place with Steve and tell him?” you begged, pouting slightly. Bucky took the note in his metal hand and frowned, his nose twitching. He seemed to shake off the thought and relaxed his features.

“Sure thing, but you owe me,” he said teasingly.

“You’re the best!” you exclaimed, kissing him on the cheek swiftly before rushing off towards the staircase. You took them three steps at a time until you reached one of the top floors, sprinting out into the landing dock. The Quinjet’s engine was already running and as soon as you clambered onto the back ramp and into the shuttle, it sparked into gear. The ramp closed up behind you and you flopped into a chair next time Natasha.

“Do we get a debriefing?” you asked, taking a moment to catch your breath. Natasha smirked and handed you a folder.

“We’re infiltrating a HYDRA base,” she said in a low, sultry voice. Romanoff was famously sexy without trying.

“When aren’t we?” you rolled your eyes. Almost every mission involved taking down HYDRA, most of the time they were planned in more detail than just hopping in the jet without information. Nat shrugged and flicked through her own folder. “What’s different this time?”

“We’ve gotten word that he’s alive,” she said, any trace of humour was lost in her expression.

“Who?” you pressed on, that is, until you reached a certain page on the file that had a familiar name scrawled across the top. You looked up at her and she stared back with emerald green eyes.

“Rumlow,” you whispered. “But I thought he was–”

“Dead? It seems he must have pulled a Fury on us,” she interrupted sardonically, her voice laced with hints of malice.

“He’s got to have some messed up face after those burns,” Clint remarked, from across from you. He was sorting arrows into his quiver, obviously trying to preoccupy himself. Natasha laughed dryly and stood up, stretching out her muscles.

“Where’s the base?” you asked, tossing the file in the empty seat next to you.

“Where do you think?” Nat said sarcastically with a sigh before cracking her neck.

“Germany? Again?” you exclaimed. You didn’t enjoy a lot of your trips to Germany as they usually ended up with someone breaking a limb and HYDRA escaping. Your question was answered by Nat’s smirk and a nod of the head from Clint.

“How come Steve’s not coming?”

“Coulson figured he’d take things a little too personal, considering what went down in DC,” Nat replied flatly.

“And they needed somebody to babysit Barnes, seeing as you’re with us,” Clint grinned, hanging his quiver up on the wall of the jet. You rolled your eyes and pulled a chocolate bar out of your bag. It was going to be a long trip.

 

Several hours and a power nap later, the jet landed in a field of snow next to a forest. By now, you, Clint, and Natasha had devised a plan of action and were ready to go. 

“Stay close, and hug the trees,” Natasha instructed. “Clint, you know your position.” Clint nodded and seconds later he had already scaled one of the taller trees. You and Nat weaved through the forest quickly, never more than a metre away from each other. Eventually, a grey, abandoned building became visible through the thick foliage as you reached the barrier of the woods. There was a long hoot and a short whistle from a branch high above you and you looked up to find Clint perched amongst the snow-laden leaves, an arrow in his bow, aiming towards the building. He glanced down and nodded in the direction of what looked like an electric fence in front of the building. You and Natasha exchanged looks before arming yourself with a gun from your thigh holster. You both moved silently and stealthily towards a thick bush that stood at the edge of the forest and crouched behind it.

Natasha dropped a bag from her shoulder and rummaged through it, pulling out several pieces of plastic and metal that belonged to a detachable sniper. Once she had the weapon set up, she poked the scope out the front of the bush.

“You’ve got a better eye than me,” she stated, shuffling away from it. You nodded and lay on your stomach, peering through the scope. “Tell me what you see.”

“6 guards in total, 4 near the front gate, 1 pacing the bottom of the hill, and one in front of the power switches, all armed,” you whispered. You and Nat turned on your Bluetooth earpieces and she hissed for Clint to answer, repeating the information back to him.

“I say that I should take out the one pacing now with the sniper. Then we ditch this here and take out the 4 by the gate, Clint shoots down the one by the switches, and if he’s got the time and the shot, take out of the power supply, if not, we’ll bash it with a rock or something. Clint stays up in the trees unless we badly need him, but we’ve handled much worse,” you strategized.

“You got all that, Clint?” Nat said to seemingly nobody.

“Loud and clear, boss,” Clint’s voice echoed in your ear. You took your position and aimed at the guy pacing. You took a deep breath and held it in as you shut one eye and adjusted your shot. The guy paused and leaned down to tie his shoe and you took the only opportunity you were going to get. You squeezed the trigger quickly with a steady hand and shuddered at the recoil. The bullet whizzed out of the barrel and shot him in the head. He fell to the ground before the gunshot had stopped echoing.

“Now!” Natasha motioned for you to follow and within in seconds, you had both ambushed the guards. Natasha had already shot one down by the time you reached them and there were three left. A burly man with a lot more upper body strength than you charged towards you and you did the only thing you could think of that could disarm a man of that size. You swung your leg back and clubbed him in between the legs with all you had. His eyes crossed momentarily as an arrow whizzed past and pierced the HYRDA agent that had been guarding the power switches. You took your opportunity to jump onto the man’s shoulders, wrapping your legs around his neck and pushing him into the snow on his hands and knees. You swiftly whipped your gun out and jabbed him roughly in the back of the neck with the butt of the handle. The man collapsed just as you rolled off of him, still aiming your gun at his head. He didn’t move a muscle and you twisted around sharply at the sound of footsteps.

This time, a woman was sprinting towards you like you had just killed her husband (maybe you did) and pulled out a knife from her waistband. You could see Natasha wrestling with the other HYDRA agent viciously. You ducked as the woman swung her knife at you and you swiped your leg at hers, knocking her onto her back with a thud. You straddled her waist and threw a heavy punch at her face, blood sprouting sporadically from her nose. She growled and licked it off of her lips and heaved you off her, switching positions, she picked up the knife that she had dropped and bit down on the handle while she attempted to pin your wrists above your head. You struggled profusely, tearing at the skin of her arm with your teeth. She screamed in outrage, dropping the knife onto your chest. You felt blood smear onto your forehead as you head butted her harshly. She fell to the side, hands covering her face. You retrieved the knife just as she went to punch you and drove it into her stomach. Her face contorted in pain and tears rolled down her cheeks.

The pair of hands that shook you awake earlier this morning pulled you away from the woman and turned you so that you faced away from her. You dropped the knife in the ground, the scarlet blood staining the pristine snow that had coated the grass. You shook your head and looked up to find Clint and Natasha motioning for you to follow them in the gate.

“I guess we didn’t need to climb the fence after all,” Clint muttered, pulling an arrow out of his quiver. “Wasted one of my babies for nothing.”

“Shut up Clint,” you said, as you approached the entrance. You and Natasha pulled out your guns once again as you kicked the door open, preparing for a fight. But you didn’t meet any. In fact, there was nobody to be seen throughout the entire complex. Natasha pulled out a set of blueprints from god knows where and frowned, taking a sharp turn into a room on her right. It was eerily quiet; the only noise came from your footsteps and the blinking of broken machines and sparking plugs. There was a note on the table. Natasha surveyed the area on and around it to make sure it wasn’t a trap. She picked up the note and angrily muttered something in Russian.

“What is it?” Clint persisted. Nat passed the note to him and you peered over his shoulder to read it.

'Sie sind leicht zu täuschen, Romanova'

You knew enough German to know what it meant. Natasha suddenly looked at you with wide eyes.

“The Winter Soldier,” she said, a look of realisation dawning on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sie sind leicht zu täuschen, Romanova" = "You are easy to decieve, Romanova"  
> Props to QueenElsaTheFirst for the German help :3  
> Woah I didn't mean to write so much or for the story to even go that far, all I thought was "she get's a text from her brother" and then it randomly escalated from there!  
> Anyway hope you liked it, I don't really write all that action plot stuff so hopefully I did okay!  
> Thanks for reading this far xx


	7. Compelling Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit crazy, just.... I don't know, shit gets serious

You, Clint, and Natasha sprinted out of the building and through the forest towards the Quinjet landing site. As soon as you were in the air you unclenched your fist, the note crumpled into your hand. You pulled out your phone and rang Steve’s number but he didn’t pick up. You sat and stared at the ground, your hands shaking, dropping your phone on the floor.

“(Y/N), we’ll make sure it’s okay. Call Tony and see if they’re there,” Natasha said in a consoling voice. You nodded weakly and took a deep, shaky breath. You dialled Tony’s phone and he picked up after 3 rings.

“What’s up, buttercup?” You could almost hear the smirk on his face through the phone.

“Tony? Are Steve and Bucky there?” you urged quickly, still trying to catch your breath.

“Not that I know of, last I heard they were off to tell your brother you weren’t showing up. When did you get a brother? Why is this the first I’m hearing of this?” he demanded jokingly.

“Listen, I don’t have time to talk about this, we think HYDRA is after Bucky, the mission was a set up!” you exclaimed, trying to control your voice but it broke at the end.

“Crap… Okay I’ve got a tracker on Steve’s phone; I’ll check it out and call back as soon as I find something.”

You hung up and let your hands fall to your lap. You looked up grimly to see the concerned faces of Clint and Natasha.

“They’re not home, Tony’s tracking Steve now.” Clint gave a curt nod and as soon as he thought you weren’t looking, slipped a hand into Natasha’s. You watched out of the corner of your eye as she squeezed it and leaned against him, shutting her eyes. You did the same, not wanting to think about how they knew they were safe in each other’s arms, but Bucky could be anywhere. You interlocked your fingers and began muttering please be okay over and over until the words lost meaning. After a while, you felt a slender hand rest on your shoulder and used all your strength to open your eyes and look at the redhead.

“You need to eat,” Nat said, handing you something in a foil wrapper. You shook your head and pushed it away. You went to stand but your head began to spin and dancing shapes dotted your vision. You closed your eyes tightly and gripped Nat’s arm when she reached out for you. The world around you began to fall and crash into oblivion and your chest was constricting tighter and tighter. This was your fault, you should have known something weird was going on with that note from your brother.

Your eyes shot open. Ryan. What happened to him? Was he captured by HYDRA? Was he tortured? Was he dead? You choked at that last thought and gasped for air, tears threatening to spill out onto your cheeks. You blinked and cleared your throat, avoiding Natasha’s piercing gaze. You were doing it again, showing weakness. God dammit this is what relationships do! They make you weak and worried. Some part of you knew that if that’s what being in a relationship with Bucky would be like, then you didn’t want to be strong and calm.

“We’re nearly there,” Clint confirmed. Your head shot up and you gathered your composure. 

“What are we going to do,” you said. You were almost shocked at how calm your voice sounded, like it was a different person speaking.

“We never got a call back from Tony, so we go straight to him. Then, we work with what we have,” Natasha said, pacing along the small aisle of the Quinjet.

“Actually… I asked Bucky to run an errand for me. My brother left a note, asking to meet him at the pizza place two blocks away. I didn’t have time to let him know I couldn’t make it, so I told Bucky to take Steve and tell him I couldn’t meet him, so he wouldn’t be waiting around. Tony said they never came back,” you explained, hoping that would give you some kind of clue.

“You have a brother?” Clint inquired, his eyebrows shooting up. Nat glared at him and then her expression deadpanned.

“(Y/N), what did the note say? Was there anything unusual about it?” she said urgently.

“Um… it said ‘Meet me at the pizza place two blocks right from the tower at 1.  
-R’, nothing weird. Except it did smell like roses? That’s the only thing I can think of.”

Natasha’s eyes widened.

“Okay (Y/N), this is important, did it touch your skin?” she said. You almost laughed at the ridiculous question but the seriousness in her face told you she wasn’t kidding.

“No, I was wearing gloves, why?”

“What about Bucky?” she pressed.

“No. No I’m almost positive he picked it up with his metal hand. Natasha what is going on?” you rushed impatiently.

“If I remember correctly, HYDRA somehow isolated a chemical that is basically a compulsion, and they must have laced it with the paper, hence the masking smell of roses. If it touches your skin, you’re basically a mindless slave to them for a short period of time, until the toxins leave your body,” she told you, slowly working it out in her head.

“Wait… Steve was acting kind of weird this morning… He told me there was a note and I asked if it was important and he was super vague and told me to just go and read it. Maybe… do you think he was under the compulsion?” you asked, gnawing on your finger anxiously. “Maybe that’s what happened to my brother too?”

Natasha stared into your eyes and didn’t reply.

“We’re here,” she announced after a moment. The Quinjet descended smoothly onto the landing dock. As soon as the door opened, the three of you jumped out and ran into the tower, taking the steps down the stairs two at a time until you reached the floor with all of Tony and Bruce’s equipment.

“Tony?” Clint called as they walked in. A holographic screen was minimized and Tony sat on a spinning chair behind it.

“What’s happening? I traced Capsicle’s phone to some trash can outside a pizza place close by but they weren’t anywhere near,” Tony informed you. Nat filled him in on what happened with the notes from your brother and HYRDA.

“Mr Stark sir, a message has been left for Miss Romanoff and Miss (Y/L/N),” J.A.R.V.I.S. chimed in, sounding almost bored.

“From who? Make sure they don’t leave the building!” You exclaimed, turning sharply and running towards the staircase, with Natasha, Clint, and Tony fast at your heels.

“Building on lockdown now,” the AI stated blankly. You sprinted down the stairs and swung the door to the lobby open to find 3 men standing by the door, attempting to bash it open.

“You break it, you pay for it,” Tony chirped, smirking until they turned around. Two of the men were tall and muscular, pulling handguns out of their pockets of their neat suits. The man on the right had a severely scarred and burned face, his menacing grin nearly impossible to make out over his disfiguration. You gasped when you saw the one standing in the middle, dragging a hand through his hair.

“Ryan,” you whispered. Your legs threatened to give out from beneath you as you struggled to control your heart from jumping straight through your ribcage.

Natasha pulled out a gun from her holster and had it aimed at his head.

“Natasha don’t! He’s under the compulsion, he doesn’t know what he’s doing!” you cried, attempting to stand in front of her aim.

“(Y/N) step back, you don’t know what you’re dealing with,” she growled, pushing me out of the way.

“Of course I do, he’s my brother!”

“I played it convincingly too, didn’t I?” Ryan sneered, striding towards you. “You never did ask what my job was did you, little sis.”

“You… you can’t…” you couldn’t form a coherent sentence and stood dumbfounded, turning to look at him.

“Listen to me (Y/N), he’s not your brother anymore. A long time ago, I came across a HYDRA assassin, it had been in the days where they learned to brainwash targets without wiping their memories like the Winter Soldier,” she began to explain, “Totally incapable of submerging into their former selves unless ordered to. And I had forgotten his name, but something in the back of my mind sparked when you joined us. Because the assassin had the same name as you.”

“That’s right. I was sick (Y/N),” Ryan said, “Sick with emotions, with feelings. It’s much better being empty. I remember what I felt, how I felt it, and why, right up to the day that they cured me. I resisted at first, I was foolish for clinging to the memories of our childhood. I remember being so depressed leaving you and it almost broke my heart for you to look at me like I was abandoning you, but now, I feel nothing when you look at me like that.”

“You d-don’t mean t-that,” you murmured, tears forming in your eyes.

“Save us the embarrassment of your blubbering. I used you!” he laughed manically. “When I heard that you were acting as though you were a real member of the Avengers, I thought I’d call on my acting skills and exploit you. Oh you could imagine my delight when I found poor little forgotten super-soldier, Mr Barnes, had earned your affections. Well from there, it was just too easy.”

You felt anger bubble inside of you, not for the words that he spat at you, but for what HYDRA had done to your brother, what they were now doing to your boyfriend.

“What. Did. You. Do. To. Him?” you said fiercely, practically hissing at him.

“I’m sure Natasha has already helped you uncover our compulsion tactic, so we led him into a trap, using your precious Captain America to knock him out, seeing as our own work of his metal prosthetic worked a little too well, as he never really touched the note with his skin. Being the original man out of time, Mr Rogers was soon shaking off the compulsion, so we had to sedate him too. Bit of a nuisance really.” Ryan had begun pacing, reeling off this story as if he had been practicing it. 

The man to the right, which you had deciphered was Rumlow, had been sharpening a knife quietly. You heard the faint click of buttons pressing and glanced over your shoulder and saw Tony fiddling with what looked like his watch. He looked up and winked at you before clearing his throat.

“That’s a very touching story, but it’s been too long since I’ve said anything, so… I’m Tony Stark, genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist, pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Tony announced, thrusting a hand towards Ryan. He frowned at Tony’s hand and raised an eyebrow. Tony yanked his hand up and laughed.

“Oh, too slow!” he exclaimed as there was a crash and a whirlwind of metal and dry wall flashed across your vision. Tony’s suit began to assemble itself, snapping onto him, piece by piece. You squinted and spluttered dust from your mouth, choking on the particles in the air. “Now it’s a party!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't judge poor Ryan! It's all HYDRA's fault!!  
> This chapter kind of just a filler chapter but still I hope it's okay and will keep you tied over until the next one!  
> Lemme know what you think xx


	8. Knock Outs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah not too long but I only have time to write small chapters to kind of move the plot along, anyway enjoy!

There was a giant hole in the wall and everyone except Tony was now kneeling on the ground, coughing up their lungs for a moment. The secretary that nobody had noticed and had been sitting shell-shocked in the corner scuttled out through the hole with tears streaming down her eyes. You squinted through the debris to see Iron Man standing tall and dusting dry wall off of his suit calmly.

Rumlow, Ryan and the other goon were now getting up and brandishing their guns. 

“Please don’t kill him,” you whispered to Natasha, who nodded curtly and aimed directly at Rumlow. He was smirking again and you heard Clint spit in disgust, cracking his fingers and pulling out his bow. Ryan was now speaking urgently into something small in his hand and moments later, the glass door was shattered and the HYRDA equivalent of a SWAT team barged through, all in arms. Two of them grabbed Ryan and escorted him out of the building. You screamed and chased after them, kicking and punching your way through the mass of men in black combat gear.

“I got your back, hot stuff,” you heard Tony say as he shot down anyone who tried to shoot at you. He flew up and caught you under the arms and picked you, speeding out of the Tower. You spotted Ryan and the two other HYDRA agents barrelling into a black van.

“Tony, let me down, I can track them from here. They need you inside!” you shouted over the din of traffic and fighting. Just as you said this, there was a piercing roar and distant screams and shouting.

“I think the big guy’s got it covered,” Tony said, just as someone was flung through a wall by a giant green hand. 

“Fine! But if they don’t know that we’re following them yet, they will when everyone starts obsessing over Iron Man flying so low in through the city carrying someone,” you exclaimed, squirming as the metal pinched you through the leather of your suit.

“J.A.R.V.I.S., set a tracker on the car,” Tony said to his suit. There must have been a reply that you couldn’t hear because a moment later, Tony had scooped you under one arm and held out the other one towards the van. A small piece of metal sprung from his wrist and flew onto the van, latching onto the fender. A panel flipped up on Tony’s wrist and showed a small digital blueprint with a red dot and a green dot blinking next to each other.

“When did that happen?” you asked, marvelling at just how far he takes his technology.

“Last week, it’s originally so if Bruce Hulks out and escapes, we can find him easily.”

Tony started to ascend into the air, staying clear of any clouds and keeping an eye on the tracker. You felt the cold air whip your hair back from your face and tighten your skin. The wind was so forceful that you found it hard to breathe and had to take giant breaths and hold them for as long as you could. Eventually, you started nearing the outskirts of the city.

“How will we know whether they switched cars?” you cried over the howling wind. 

“Well the van hasn’t stopped moving and I doubt they’d risk throwing him out of the back of a moving vehicle. Anyways, they’re leading us right to their base,” he informed you, checking the tracker. “It’s slowing down, we must be nearly there.”

You hadn’t let yourself think about all that had just happened and focused on your numb arms and legs. Tony started to descend, weaving in through the sparse trees and staying hidden from view as much as possible. He landed semi-gracefully on the ground behind what looked like an abandoned hospital. The van had pulled up outside the entrance and the two men and Ryan climbed out of the back. Your heart tripped and you tried to run forward but a metal hand caught you and covered your mouth.

“Are you trying to get us killed, sweet cheeks,” Tony muttered in your ear. You were getting exasperated with his demeaning pet names and would have punched him if he wasn’t in his suit. “You stay behind me at all times, we’ll sneak in the back, and if we’re caught, I’ll create a diversion, and you get the hell out of there, okay?” You nodded meekly and he let go of you, setting you gently on the ground. You flattened your hair down with your hands and took a minute to take in the situation. Tony took off the face panel of his helmet and looked at you with soft, brown eyes.

“It’s okay kiddo, we’ll get them back,” he said, touching your shoulder. You sighed and nodded again and Tony put the panel back on. He fist-bumped you and snuck towards a fire exit that was at the back of the hospital. You crouched slightly and ran after him. He broke the lock on the door easily with his hand-thrusters and slipped into the building quietly. You followed him and left the door just barely ajar so that nobody would notice but you could still easily get out. You entered a dark and deserted hallway, passing a few doors with broken windows and shattered hinges. When you reached the end of the hall, you rounded a corner and peered out around Tony’s suit. You had walked into a lobby type room but there was nobody behind the desk. Everything about this place was eerie and dark.

“Best bet is the basement, there’s bound to be a lot more levels,” you whispered. Tony headed towards a door that said ‘Lower Floors’ and laughed from inside his suit. You rolled your eyes and went cautiously through the door after him. You were met by a staircase and you and Tony descended it carefully. You pulled out a gun from your holster and kept it steady in your right hand. Tony put out a hand, stopping you from walking any further. He cupped it and put it up to where his ear would be if he wasn’t wearing the helmet. You strained your ears to hear faint voices that sounded like they were arguing.

“We should just wipe him now!” a man’s voice growled impatiently.

“We have to wait for Pierce, you know that,” a woman’s stern voice replied. You and Tony crept towards a door that had light pouring out of the bottom.

“He could be days! He’s a threat, if we don’t wipe him, we’ll have to kill him,” the man argued, raising his voice louder. “He’s stirring, get the sedatives!”

You saw Tony glance back at you as he held something in his hand. He leaned down and slipped it under the door. He pulled you away and motioned for you to cover your mouth. Seconds later there was a small beep and what you thought was the distinctive *hiss* of air seeping out of a pressurised can. Your theory was confirmed when wisps of white fog curled out from under the door. You heard someone coughing roughly and several thuds until everything went quiet. The fog or gas (or whatever it was) was now evaporating and disappearing into the vents.

You looked at Tony pointedly with a raised eyebrow and he shrugged.

“You never know when you’ll need some knock out gas,” he remarked before kicking down the door. The gas had cleared and you entered into an old-fashioned lab. All the electronic equipment looked dated and dusty, as if they had only recently moved here. In the corner there were three large cryo-freezers, all empty. You looked around to see a man and a woman in white lab coats collapsed on the ground next to each other. And on the other side of the room, was Bucky. He was strapped tightly to what looked like a dentist’s chair and was moaning unintelligibly. You ran over and tapped him lightly on his face, shaking his shoulders.

“Bucky? Buck can you hear me?” you called, opening his eyelids with your thumb. He groaned and opened his mouth. You quickly undid the straps on his wrists and ankles. You whipped your head up when you heard your name. Bucky let his head flop to the side and struggled to move.

“Yo Frosty, wake up,” Tony called, taking off his face panel again. Bucky’s eyelids fluttered and he frowned. In one swift motion, he caught you by your arms and pinned you against a wall. You felt your heart race as he stared at you with cold, blue eyes and a blank expression.

“Who are you,” he growled slowly, his grip tightening on your arms. You winced in pain and looked into his eyes.

“Buck… James, it’s me. (Y/N), your… girlfriend. You were taken hostage by HYDRA, but we’re getting you out. Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, your best friend is Steve Rogers, and we need to save him too,” you rushed, desperation seeping into your voice. Then almost in an instant, there was a shift, and his eyes weren’t cold and calculating, but horrified and confused.

“(Y/N)…” he whispered. He stood there, frozen and you coughed uncomfortably, his grip still tight on your arms.

“Bucky,” you said, looking at his hands. He dropped his hands and stepped away awkwardly. 

“Alright kids, we gotta find my baby, Capsicle,” Tony piped up. You rolled your eyes and held out a spare gun to Bucky.

“Do you need this?” you asked, half hoping he would say no. He shook his head and you sighed in relief, knowing he wasn’t ready, just in case he slipped into his Winter Soldier mode.

“Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have the next one done before the weekend (hopefully) but just a couple more chapters left! Let me know if you have any suggestions or comments xx


	9. I Trust You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been so long! I've had so much school wise going on this week and I'm just terrible okay, this isn't very long because I wanted to get something up to make up for it

The three of you tied up the man and woman who lay unconscious on the floor, and left them in the corner. There was a door in the room that led out to a different hallway and you filed out one by one into darkness. Tony lit the way with one of his hand thrusters and you and Bucky followed the blue, ethereal-like light that flooded the hall. This continued for about five minutes of twisting and turning without coming into contact with any other rooms or people. Suddenly, as you rounded a corner, there were two doors standing opposite each other. Tony leaned against the one on the right and there was silence, all except the faint clink and rattle of chains. Tony kicked the door down ferociously with one swift movement and it fell into the room, its hinges breaking like plastic.

“They really need better security on this place,” he muttered to himself as you walked past him into the room.

“(Y/N)?” a low, rough voice called from inside the room. The room was a dusky shadow until Tony shone his light on it. It was like a small jail cell, bare of even the essentials, and its inmate, was Steve Rogers.

“Steve!” you exclaimed, running over to him. There were several cuts along his arms and face that were already almost done healing. His wrists and ankles were bound tightly together by handcuffs and some kind of plastic so that he wouldn’t have the movement to break them apart.

“Tony, come here,” you waved a hand for the Man in the Metal Suit to enter the room. He walked over and began melted away the links in the metal. You could feel the heat from the blue flame and Steve winced as it singed his skin. 

“Damn it, Stark,” he hissed under his breath. 

“Is that the closest you’ve ever come to cursing, Capsicle?” Tony teased before snapping the hot metal and molten plastic. “All done, no need to thank me for saving your life.”

Steve scowled and looked up to see Bucky leaning against the doorway, his jaw hard and his arms crossed tightly. Steve’s expression softened momentarily, until he looked back at you. He stood up and flexed his arms.

“(Y/N)… There’s something we need to tell you… It’s about your brother…” he began solemnly.

“It’s okay, I know,” you whispered mournfully, not meeting his gaze. “Nat told me who… what he is.”

“We’ll get him back,” Bucky said suddenly. You turned to look at him, and he stood straight now, with his arms at his side. He stared at you with a determined expression and glinting eyes.

“But Bucky… there’s no way they’ll just let him go. They control him now. It’s not like what they did to you. He… he remembers everything and is still working with them…” Your voice began to shake but you swallowed hard and shook your head.

“Well… we could always try Natasha’s method…” Steve suggested. You mulled over what he said for a moment until loud voices carried through the hall. You jumped and ran out of the room and into the other door that stood across from it, grabbing Bucky’s hand and dragging him in after.

“I need you fighting with me,” you whispered to him as you barrelled through the door into the (luckily) empty room. It was barren bar two metal tables and a few chairs. You shut the door behind you quickly and began to drag the tables into the centre of the room. Bucky caught on to what you were doing and heaved them onto their sides so that the tops faced the door. He pulled some of the chairs over and scattered them around the tables. There were footsteps outside the door now, and a shout of anger from a man. You and Bucky jumped behind the table to use it a shield and you reluctantly handed him one of your guns. He looked at you and shook his head but you pushed it into his hands.

Tony and Steve must have hidden in the other room until the HYDRA agents noticed the broken door, and attacked because there was now a deafening noise of crashing and skin on metal. The door broke down as someone was thrown through it, Steve standing behind him tall. The man landed on the concrete floor with a crunch and groaned in pain. Steve stalked over to him and gripped him by the front of his shirt, hoisting him up and pinning him against the wall so that his feet barely skimmed the floor.

“Is this it?” you exclaimed, shocked by the lack of gunfire and struggle.

“Two guys, poor kids didn’t see us coming,” Tony smirked, stepping into the room.

“Where is Ryan (Y/L/N)?” Steve growled at the agent, pressing his forearm into his throat. The man choked and his face went bright red. Steve released some of the pressure put kept his stature rigid, barely even breaking a sweat.

“Why w-would I tell y-you?” the agent spat weakly, gasping for air. Steve was pushed away when a metal hand grasped the man around the neck and a human fist flew through the air and punched him harshly.

“Bucky!” Steve exclaimed, “We need him alive.”

There was now blood pumping profusely from the agent’s nose and lip, and his eyes began to droop.

“Tell. Us,” Bucky stated, tightening his grasp on his neck. The man coughed dryly and mouthed something.

“Let him speak, Buck,” Steve said anxiously. Bucky grunted and loosened his grip.

“F-fine, I’ll t-take you to him,” the man heaved. You reached forward and placed a gentle hand on Bucky’s shoulder. All this time you were so caught up in the moment that you forgot everything that had happened. You were going to get your brother back.

Bucky set the man down and pulled his hands behind his back quickly. Tony left for a moment and returned with the chains used to confine Steve. He wrapped them tightly around the agent’s wrists and welded them together again. The man whimpered in pain when Tony “accidentally” let his thrusters glide over his skin. If it was any other situation, you would have scolded him but you just couldn’t bring yourself to muster an ounce of compassion.

The agent limped awkwardly into the hallway that was now riddled with debris from the broken doors, and led you and the team back the way you had come from, with Steve keeping a tight hold on the shackles. He brought you through the room where you found Bucky, and you felt him stiffen at your side. Bucky stared at the chair he had been strapped to and you reached out and took his hand in yours, squeezing it briefly. He turned to look at you, his face filled with pain and something else… Something you couldn’t quite make out just yet.

As the agent led you out of the room and up the stairs, you felt uneasiness sweep over you as you climbed each step. Bucky fumbled with something and you looked down to see him handing you back your gun.

“I trust you,” you whispered softly.

“I don’t,” he said shortly. You shook your head and clenched your fist so that he couldn’t give it back to you. If there was any time to prove how much he meant to you, it was now.

You finally reached the lobby, and as the door swung open, the last chance of saving Ryan was now upon you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try finish up the whole "shit going to down" in the next few days so sit tight amigos
> 
> xx


	10. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so terrible at updating quality chapters but school and courses and life has me all preoccupied, I'LL DO BETTER I PROMISE!

Before you had a chance to survey the room, you were yanked harshly through the doorway and into the lobby by your wrist. You caught a glimpse of the hard, menacing face of your brother moments before you were pulled into him so that your back pressed into his chest. You felt the cool steel of a knife trace the skin on your neck and you shivered. He pressed the blade so close that you were terrified to swallow, for fear of him cutting you. Bucky started towards you but you stopped him.

“James, don’t!” you cried, tilting your head back from the knife. Steve reached out and pulled Bucky back by the shoulder. 

“If you move, so do I,” Ryan glowered, lifting his elbow pointedly and readjusting his grip on the knife. Bucky’s eyes flickered in pain and he clenched his fists. 

“Ryan,” you whispered softly, “why are you doing this?”

“Because… I… because I can,” he hesitated slightly. You dropped your gaze to the floor and raised a trembling hand to gently trace along his fingers that gripped the handle of the blade tightly. He flinched at your touch but didn’t move. You looked up at Steve with longing eyes and he gave a small nod with a reassuring look. You sighed and grabbed Ryan’s wrist swiftly. Before he could react, you pushed his arm away, knocking the blade out of his hand and threw a kick behind you between his legs. He groaned and dropped to the ground onto his knees. You quickly turned around and grabbed a handful of his hair, and thrusting his head into a metal hand bar that was attached to the wall with as much force as you could muster.

Ryan’s head connected with the bar with a sharp *ding* and he slumped to the floor. You felt two hands on your shoulders and they turned you around so that you were facing Bucky. His stare was just enough to make your legs grow weak as you collapsed to the ground. He caught you before you fell and hoisted you up bridal style into his arms.

“I’m not weak,” you murmured.

“I know.”

“I don’t need to be carried.”

“I know,” Bucky said again as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Just this once…” you trailed off. In the background, you could see Steve throw Ryan over his shoulder and carry him out the front door.

“I mean honestly, the security in this place…” Tony mumbled to himself, following Steve. Bucky took off after them, rocking you unconsciously so that you had to fight to keep your eyes open. You twisted your head when Bucky shouldered the front door open and saw Tony hotwiring a van from inside the front seat. You didn’t really understand how he did it but you were too drained to care. Steve was placing Ryan into the back and then climbed in after him. You struggled out of Bucky’s arms and ran into the van after him.

There were too small wooden benches on the inside of the van and Steve had sat Ryan on one of them, his head slumping down to his shoulder. You knelt in front of him and held his hands, staring at him intently. You hadn’t noticed Bucky slide the door shut or the engine drum to life steadily or the van pull out roughly onto a dirt track. All of these things flooded back to you when Ryan’s eyes flickered open and he winced when he straightened his neck.

“(Y/N)?” he said with a raspy voice. You nodded with bright eyes as he smiled weakly. Then the colour seemed to drain from his face and his eyes widened.

“What have I… what did I do…” he stuttered, staring intently at his hands in yours. You squeezed them tightly but you felt him tremble. “I k-killed innocent p-people… I could have killed y-you.” He choked and tears filled his eyes. 

“You were under HYDRA’s control, you couldn’t-”

“I KNEW! I knew what I was doing, I didn’t feel ANYTHING,” he exclaimed, pulling his hands from yours. 

“Stop it! They tricked you, and I won’t let you believe that you’re to blame,” you cried, tears now falling down your cheeks slowly. “You hear me? This is the end of it, I won’t lose you again.” Your voice broke and you let your head fall. Silence filled the van and Ryan cleared his throat awkwardly in an attempt to break the tension.

“So… how did you… snap me out of it?” You gave a small smile.

“Natasha’s favourite method, cognitive recalibration,” you giggled as you exchanged looks with Steve, who had sat quietly in the corner.

“What?” Ryan frowned.

“Hit you really hard in the head,” you smirked, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“No wonder I have such a bad headache,” he mused.

The van trundled along potholes and bumps in the road until the track turned smooth and the familiar muted city noises could be heard.

“You’re coming home with us,” you said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I KNOW IT'S SHORT BUT MORE TO ROUND UP THE SERIES THIS WEEKEND


	11. I Can Handle Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I KNOW IT'S BEEN AGES BUT MY INTERNET WAS GONE FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS I WAS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS I'M SORRY!!  
> Anyways, new installment to this NEVER ENDING SAGA!  
> Enjoy xx

Two days after saving your brother, you and Bucky were lying on one of the couches in the Avengers Tower. You had your legs thrown over the side and your head on his lap.

“How are you doing?” Bucky asked as he absentmindedly stroked your hair.

“I’m alright, considering. I’m still processing everything,” you replied, closing your eyes.

“What’s going to happen to Ryan?”

“He’s going to be seeing Sam everyday for the next while until he gets better, and then he’s going home,” you said, shifting your weight so you lay on your side. Bucky let his hand fall over your shoulder and you reached up and laced your fingers into his. 

“Sam… a friend of Steve’s, right?” Bucky said, a strange tone tainting his voice.

“Yes. You’ve um, you’ve met him before, in… D.C.,” you said, sitting up carefully, without letting go of his hand. Bucky went silent for a moment and you nudged him softly with your shoulder.

“Yeah, I… I think I remember,” he muttered to himself, frowning slightly.

“I’m sorry James; I’ve been so preoccupied with everything that’s happened that I haven’t even asked how you’re doing! I’m so sorry, are you okay?” you exclaimed, mentally face-palming at how inattentive you’ve been. Bucky sighed with a small smile and nodded.

“Don’t you worry about me doll, as long as you’re okay, I’m okay,” he said softly, squeezing your hand. You knew he was lying but you felt your chest constrict.

“Thanks Buck, but if you’re not doing great, please don’t let it bottle up,” you pressed, kissing him on the cheek.

“I hear ya doll,” he smirked, wrapping his human arm around you. You smiled and leaned into him. His smirk dropped and he looked into your eyes, his wide open. There it was again. That look had resurfaced, the one that he gave you on the stairwell at the HYDRA base. He gulped and leaned towards you, his lips meeting yours briefly and sweetly for just a second. You felt your heart flutter and you limbs weakened. You sighed gently and took a shaky breath.

“What are you thinking?” you whispered.

“How lucky I am to have you,” he blurted. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and broke eye contact, staring at the coffee table. He glanced back up at you as you felt a blush creep into your cheeks.

“Uh… do you want a cup of tea?” he continued quickly.

“Sure,” you smiled as he got up out off of the couch. He took your hand and kissed it before wandering into the kitchen. As soon as he left, you heard footsteps behind you and found Steve walking into the room.  
“How’s it going, (Y/N),” he said brightly, plonking onto the couch next to you.

“Everything’s fine, Stevie,” you said sleepily, yawning soundlessly.

“Good… and things with Bucky are…?” he pressed, trying to seem nonchalant.

“Steve, if you have something to say, spit it out,” you said, laughing slightly.

“Okay you’ve got me; I just wanted to tell you that if you’re going to be serious with Bucky, you need to know that he’s been through a lot-” he began before you interrupted him.

“Steve I know what he’s been through, his life is pretty much a history book with a few pages torn out,” you rolled your eyes.

“Okay, but speaking from experience, it might be a long time before he can admit that he might have real feelings for someone, so just be patient,” he explained empathetically. “He could feel it, and show it, but there’s no telling if he’ll ever be ready to say it.”

“Sometimes, I think I can see it, in his eyes, y’know,” you said with a sad smile. “I’m not sure if I’m there yet, I haven’t had much luck in this kind of thing, but it’s like every time I see him, I get all weak-kneed and my heart races and I think that’s the way it’s supposed to be all the time, and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon.”

Steve pulled you into a hug and you were smothered by his shoulder.

“You better not be trying to steal my girl, punk,” Bucky remarked as he walked in with two cups in his hand. You laughed and pulled away from Steve.

 

“He’s in for a tough job if that’s the case - thanks,” you joked, taking one of the cups from Bucky. He winked back and crushed himself into the space between you and Steve. Cap scooted along the couch to make room for him, blushing slightly. Bucky wrapped an arm around your shoulders and sat casually, taking gulps of his tea every once and a while. You let your head fall onto his shoulder and sighed happily, warmth spreading through your heart and chest.

 

“Aw, you guys,” Steve cooed, “… go get a room.”

 

“Later,” Bucky smirked and you elbowed him in the ribs.

 

“But that’s none of my business,” you said, sipping your tea nonchalantly.

 

“Is that a reference?” Steve piped up, his face contorted in confusion. Bucky looked at you expectantly to explain but you shook your head and stifled a laughed. Then something that had been skirting around in the back of your mind finally came to you.

“What happened to the HYDRA agent that led us back to the lobby?” you asked suddenly.

 

“I knocked him out,” a voice from behind you announced. You looked over Bucky’s shoulder to see Tony strolling in leisurely. “The second Mister No Feelings grabbed you, I showed that guy my Knuckles of Steel!” He swiped the air with closed fists and smirked.

 

“Hey, I’m not tolerating any stupid nicknames you give to Ryan, okay?” you chided. Tony lifted his hand and waved you off, walking into the kitchen, muttering something about bad security and HYDRA stepping up their game.

 

“Someday, I’ll beat his metal ass with my metal arm,” Bucky snarled. You could tell he was joking; it wasn’t often that he acknowledged the existence of high-tech bionic limb.

 

“He’s a pain in the ass, but he means well… most of the time.”

 

Steve shrugged and heaved himself off the couch.

“Time for training, you up for it, Buck?” he asked. Bucky hesitated and looked into his cup. You wiggled out from under his arm and stood up, chugging the rest of your tea.

 

“Bucky sweetie, don’t feel the need to have to keep me company the whole time,” you said with a smile. “I’m going to visit my brother anyway.”

 

“Maybe someone should go with you?” Steve pressed anxiously.

 

“I can handle myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proof-read this so sorry if there's mistakes!
> 
> Seeing as my WiFi is back, I swear I'll be better at writing this and thank you for reading this far <3  
> xx


	12. Not so Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know I haven't updated a couple weeks I'm sorry!
> 
> I lost this entire chapter when my laptop froze and turned off and I was like NOOO OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO CRY but then I turned it back on and Word Documents ACTUALLY SAVED THE FILE!! I spent ages on this, mainly because I kept getting distracted but I'm not bothered to proof read so apologies for mistakes.

Seeing your brother was probably the hardest thing you had to do. You could never expect what kind of day he was having. It was always a tossup between him 1) slowly coming to terms with what had happened and 2) spiralling into a state of total darkness and fear. Every day that you walked in the door, you prayed that you wouldn’t be staring into blank, emotionless eyes with wrists and ankles bound tight, and hoped that little by little, it was getting easier

 

Taking a deep breath, you pushed down the cold metal handle and used your shoulder to heave the door open. You walked into a medium sized room with hardwood floors, cream painted walls, and a window opposite the doorway. It didn’t have anything that wasn’t needed, just a bed, a chair, a dresser, and a bed-side table. Ryan was sitting up in the bed, holding something in his hands. He didn’t notice you walk in so you tapped lightly on the door with your knuckles.

 

When he looked up, you couldn’t help but flinch. There were dark circles under his eyes, his skin was pasty and lifeless, and his hair stuck up at odd angles. He had looked like this yesterday, but you weren’t used to him not being bright and cheerful. When you glanced down at his hands, he quickly folded up whatever he was holding and tucked it under his pillow. You squinted but shook your head, smiling softly at him as you dragged the chair that was pushed against the wall up to the side of his bed. 

 

“Hi,” you said as you sat down in the chair, resting your elbows on your knees.

“Hey,” he replied quietly, twiddling his thumbs.

 

“How have you been?” you pressed, reaching out to put a hand onto his.

 

“What do you think?” he snapped before sighing and meeting your gaze, he took your outstretched hand in one of his. “Sorry, just a rough day.”

 

“Don’t worry about it; I wouldn’t expect you to be back to normal straight away. Have you seen Sam today?” you asked, rubbing circles with your thumb on the back of his hand. He shook his head.

 

“Not yet.”

 

“How’s it going with him, I mean, I know you’ve only seen him once but…” you trailed off, scratching at the floor with the tips of your shoes.

 

“Can we talk about something else?” Ryan said suddenly. You looked up at him and he was biting his lip and looking out the window. “Sorry, it’s just… I spend all day thinking about all the… the things I’ve done.”

 

“Ryan…”

 

“You can be m-my escape. Can we just pretend? That none of it happened, just for a little while…” His eyes glazed over and he swallowed before finally looking at you again.

 

“Of course,” you said eventually, smiling gently. “We haven’t been home in a while huh?”

 

“It’s been a few Christmas’s. I miss mom’s cooking,” he smirked, yet it didn’t fully reach his eyes.

 

“Do you think we’ll be invited to Thomas and Claire’s wedding?” you laughed, leaning back on your chair and throwing your feet onto the end of his bed.

“Not a chance, not after what we said about Claire,” he grinned. You couldn’t help but giggle as you remembered how you and Ryan got in a fight with your other brother, Thomas about his fiancée, Claire. You had joked about her likeness to a certain pet pig you used to have and Ryan pointed out that she was just a plain old bitch who used Thomas.

 

“She meant well…” you deadpanned. Ryan stared at you until you burst out laughing and snorted. 

 

“Good one,” he retorted sarcastically as he ran a hand through his unruly hair. Just as things felt like they were slipping back into the way they were, there was a knock on the door. You swivelled around to see Sam peering around the door.

 

“(Y/N), hey, good to see you!” his face split into a grin and you stood up to hug him tightly.

 

“You too Sammy, I suppose you’ll want some privacy?”

 

“If that’s okay with you?” he said lightly. You nodded and leaned over to hug Ryan.

 

“Have you got your phone?” you asked him, touching his shoulder. Ryan nodded towards his bedside table and you inclined your head. “I’ll call back every day when I’m not on a mission, but if you need me for whatever reason, just give me a text or a call.”

 

“Will do sis… and thanks,” he said lowly, his eyes softening. You smiled and gave a small wave to Sam before leaving. After you shut the door behind you, you leaned against the wall and took a shuddering breath. You knew he was struggling and you wanted to help as much as you could, you just weren’t sure whether avoiding what happened was the best way to do this.

 

You started walking towards the gym which was several floors down from Ryan’s room so you pressed the button for the elevator and waited impatiently for it to slide to a halt. The doors opened smoothly with a *ding* to show Natasha and Clint standing close together inside, staring at each other intently.

 

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” you smirked, walking into the lift. Natasha rolled her eyes and shifted away from Clint slightly but you could have sworn you saw her squeeze his hand before separating. It was obvious to everyone in the tower that they were a couple but if anyone said anything, Natasha would give them her infamous death glare and send them running. Once Tony made some joke about it and he ended up hiding in one of his suits on its stand for hours before Pepper called him out.

 

“Jealous much, (Y/N)?” Clint said with a goofy grin before Nat elbowed him sharply in the stomach. He doubled over and groaned before shooting a glare at her. The corner of her full lips rose into a half smirk and she folded her arms smugly.

 

“So are you guys off to the gym by any chance?” you asked, stifling a giggle. Clint finally recovered and straightened up.

 

“Oh yeah, gotta work the guns,” he said, flexing his arms, his muscles bulging under his t shirt. You gave me your signature “are you fucking kidding me” look and winked at Natasha. You hadn’t realised that the elevator had started moving until the doors opened once again on the floor you were going to. The three of you walked out towards the gym to find Bucky and Steve sparring in the centre of the room. Clint walked off to do some target practice and you and Natasha hung back and leaned against the wall.

 

The super soldiers were both covered in a thin layer of sweat. You watched as Bucky dodged Steve’s punches, hooking his ankle with his foot and knocking Steve to the ground. Bucky smirked and pushed the hair from his face before he noticed you staring. He gave a small wave and a wink before offering his metal hand to Steve. He grabbed his hand and pulled Bucky down onto his back. Steve sat up laughing and you smiled, looking at Natasha to see if she was watching.

 

He gaze was fixed intently across the room however, where Clint was throwing knives at training mannequins. You nudged her and she snapped out of her trance.

 

“What’s going on with you two?” you asked, threading carefully. You were basically best friends with her so she sometimes confided in you.

 

“Is it necessary to put a label on it?” she half-smirked, folding her arms.

 

“Uh yes, are you a couple or not?” you demanded playfully. She just shook her head. You decided the best tactic was to annoy her as much as possible until she gave in, she could never be mad at you. You poked her sharply in the stomach and on the arm and on her cheek until she squirmed away from you.

 

“You’ll never quit will you?” she said exasperatedly.

 

“Nope!”

 

“We’ll talk about it later,” she gave in and you grinned happily. You turned your attention to Steve and Bucky who were jostling each other playfully and walking towards you. You felt your heart stutter when your eyes met Bucky’s. He stood tall in front of you and you could feel the heat radiate from him as he threw his right arm around your shoulders.

 

“How’s my girl?” he whispered in your ear, sending a shiver over your skin. You were never going to get used to being around him and you were perfectly happy being that way.

 

“Better now that you’re here,” you said, pecking him on the cheek. You could taste the sweat on his skin but it was oddly comforting. He pulled you into a hug and you were wrapped in his warmth. You sighed happily as he kissed the top of your head.

 

“Get a room,” Clint called from across the room.

 

“Maybe we will,” Bucky shouted back, not taking his eyes off of you.

 

“Guys…” Steve said awkwardly, his cheeks a rosy red. You giggled and poked him on the nose.

 

“Boop!” 

 

He swatted away your hand with a smile.

 

“We were just getting some food, are you guys up for it?” he asked, trying to ignore your hand that kept poking him in the face.

 

“I think I’ll hang around here, you go ahead,” Natasha said. You winked at her and nodded in Clint’s direction subtly while Steve and Bucky started walking towards the door. She rolled her eyes and grabbed your shoulders, spinning you around towards the door and pushing you gently. You laughed and ran after the boys, attempting to jump onto Bucky’s back. He must have heard your footsteps because at the last second, he turned around and caught you as you wrapped legs around his waist. Your face was inches from his and he smirked as he held you close to him.

 

“Guys…” Steve repeated. Neither of you looked at him so he just kept walking. “I’ll just go take a shower then.”

 

“Y’know, I think I might too, care to join me doll?” Bucky murmured in your ear.

 

“Don’t mind if I do,” you said playfully, kissing him on the nose. He shifted you onto his back and jogged to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder should I change the summary, people must be like "how has she written 12 chapters on just staring at Bucky and eating pizza crusts like what" but meh effort!
> 
> Anyway I hope you liked it and thanks for reading, you're all just <3
> 
> I have no idea how or when I'll wrap this up, I can't think ahead, I'm too lazy
> 
> xx


	13. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright kids, there MAY be feels, I can't tell because I wrote it
> 
> But I'm having a bad day today so I was like fuck it I'll switch it up a bit, and this resulted, i don't know if I got it right or not but I hope I did our dear Bucky and the lovely reader justice!  
> P.S. I wrote this to the "Life Sucks" playlist of Spotify for anyone who wants some background music for that angsty feel
> 
> xx

“Bucky?”

 

You heard something smash and you ran into the kitchen to see the shattered remains of a glass on the floor. Bucky stood tall and rigid in the middle of the room, his long dark hair falling in front of his dipped head.

 

“Bucky?” you called again, this time stepping cautiously around the broken shards. His head snapped up and a pair of cold, calculating blue eyes stared up at you. You backed up close to the wall the second he picked up a knife from the counter. You were just about to call out for help when suddenly he had you pinned up against the wall, his forearm on your neck. You gasped with pain and struggled against him, the flesh of his human arm hot against yours.

 

“Where am I?” he demanded, pressing the blade against your arm, it’s cool metal searing your skin. You winced and gritted your teeth, attempting to choke out some words but your voice died. He growled at your silence and let the sharp knife pierce your skin, blood oozing out of the wound slowly, running down your arm. The tips of your toes barely touched the ground as you swung your legs desperately. He pressed his body against yours to stunt your movement. You were positive he could feel your heart beat on his arm but there was no emotion in his eyes, only anger.

 

You attempted to drop to the ground with all of your strength, taking the chance to bite down hard on his arm, the metallic taste of blood tainting your mouth. He cursed under his breath and stepped back, letting you drop to the floor. You scrambled to your feet, rubbing your raw throat as you gasped for air.

 

“You’re in t-the Avengers T-Tower!” you coughed, stumbling through the kitchen and out into the living room. You knew any second now, he’d follow you, so you grabbed a ceramic vase filled with tulips. Before you had a chance to dump the flowers, he stalked out of the kitchen, blood spilling onto his hand from his wound.

 

“You’re name is James Buchanan Barnes,” you began to shout, before you were cut off.

 

“Do NOT lie to me,” he snarled, reaching out to grab your wrist. You smashed the vase over his head, water spilling out over his hair and orange tulips tumbling onto the floor. While he was momentarily distracted, you pounced.

 

Using all of your strength, you jumped onto him, knocking him onto his back. You pinned his arms to his side with your legs as you straddled his stomach as best as you could. 

 

“SNAP OUT OF IT BUCKY! GOD DAMMIT YOU’RE SAFE, HYDRA HAVE NO CONTROL OVER YOU. DON’T FUCKING MAKE ME KNOCK YOU OUT!” you screamed, using your hands to hold the side of his face. He just stared back, frowning. He didn’t struggle against your hold.

 

“Why… why am I here?” he whispered. “Why are you here with me?”

 

“Because… James, you don’t remember right now and I don’t know why that is,” you said. “But I hope you remember, even just from now on, that I will always be here with you.”

 

“Do you… I mean… why would you…” he trailed off, shifting uncomfortably underneath you, but you didn’t budge.

 

“Are you stupid or something?” you exclaimed, almost laughing. “Why else? I love you!”

 

His eyes shifted slightly, widening and then he blinked, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

 

“(Y/N)?” he finally blurted out. You smiled, and climbed off of him, helping him sit up. You knelt down beside him, picking the pieces of the vase from his hair.

 

“Sorry I threw a vase at you, I’ll make you 2am pancakes to make up for it, after we clean all this up,” you said, going to stand up. He grabbed your wrist gently before you had a chance and pulled you back down.

 

“(Y/N)… did you mean it?” he asked, staring at his hand on yours.

 

“Yeah, they’re just pancakes…”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“Of course,” you said softly. He opened his mouth but you stopped him. “I don’t expect you to say it, okay? Now come now, we better get this cleared up.”

 

You kissed him on the forehead and stood up, going into the kitchen to find a sweeping brush and a pan under the sink. You swept up the broken glass in the kitchen and threw them into the bin. When you walked into the living room again, you found Bucky picking up the pieces of ceramics and holding them in his metal hand. He stood up straight when you came in and held out his other hand hesitantly, a bunch of blood-stained tulips clenched in his bloody fist.

 

“Shit, Bucky come here, we’ll get that cleaned up,” you said, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him into the kitchen and over to the sink. You took the flowers from him and set them into the basin of the sink. You put his forearm under the tap and rinsed off the blood from where you bit him. He reached over and dropped the pieces of the vase into the bin without the rest of his body moving.

 

“Sorry for biting you, I can’t believe I bit you,” you muttered lowly. “Keep your hand there for a second.” You started rooting through the drawers for a first aid kit. You found it and started rummaging through it for disinfectant.

 

“It might sting… oh,” you began saying, until you realised the oval-shaped teeth marks were almost healed completely.

 

“The serum kind of speeds up healing,” he said sheepishly, his voice husky and deep.

 

“Well… now I don’t feel as bad,” you laughed awkwardly. He touched your arm and a pained expression flashed over his face. “What? What is it?”

 

You looked down and saw dried blood that had trickled down the side of your arm.

 

“Oh that, can’t even feel it with the adrenaline rush, it’s fine,” you brushed it off. 

 

“It’s not fine, I hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you,” he said, grabbing a cloth from the box and running it under the tap. He dabbed the blood from your arm and you flinched from the cold water.

 

“You know well you weren’t the real you. THIS is you, someone you care about is barely hurt and you can’t help but worry irrationally,” you reassured him. He sighed and focused on cleaning your wound.

 

“I don’t think it’ll need stitches,” he said eventually, putting the end of a bandage between his teeth and unrolling it with one hand. He dropped the cloth in the sink and wrapped the bandage around your arm tightly.

 

“Thanks Mr Nurse,” you joked, attempting to relieve some of the thick tension that consumed the air. He nodded without meeting your gaze and turned to walk out. You grabbed his pinkie finger and giving him puppy dog eyes. “I promised you pancakes, and so you’re getting pancakes.”

 

He nodded and sat on the counter, watching you as you pottered around the kitchen collecting ingredients. You tried your best to keep your smile from faltering, but inside, you were overwhelmed with worry for Bucky.

 

“So… I relapse, and you make me pancakes?” he asked, fiddling with his thumbs.

 

“Just for tonight,” you said, nudging against him with a soft smile.

 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he replied, jumping down off the counter and wrapping his arms around your waist. You closed your eyes and leaned back against his chest, sighing. If you could have stayed there like that forever, you would have. It always shocked you how some of the most peaceful moments came after some of the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pancakes make everything okay alright!  
> But seriously thank you so much for reading, all of ye're comments make me sooo so happy and cheer me up all the time so thanks for getting this far, ya'll are great and love you people  
> xx


	14. Snowmen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies, I've been procrastinating with updating, I think I'll finish it up after the next chapter?? Anyway, ENJOY SOME REAL TIME FLUFF xx

“I still don’t know how you have such soft hair but don’t use conditioner, WHY ARE YOU DEFYING LOGIC!” you exclaimed, running your hands through Bucky’s hair, his head propped on your lap.

 

“Because he’s worth it,” Clint piped up, sitting next to Natasha on the floor.

 

“You’re all not worthy,” Thor boomed, swinging his hammer above his head proudly.

 

“We’re talking about hair, Thor, not your stupid hammer,” Clint scoffed. He went to stroke Nat’s hair and she slapped his hand away. “Ow, Nat, damn.” Natasha smirked and elbowed him lightly.

 

“I have been told that I have… what was the word? Fabulous? Fabulous hair?” Thor pondered, dropping his hammer down on the coffee table. You burst out laughing and almost knocked Bucky off of your lap.

 

“Is that not right?” Thor frowned, running a hand through his gold locks.

 

“It’s pretty accurate,” Nat commented, holding back a grin. Thor shrugged and crashed down onto the couch next to you. Bucky was practically purring as you ran your hands through his hair again.

 

“I’ll have to stop in a minute so soak it up, bud,” you sighed and Bucky groaned.

 

“But whyyyyy,” he complained, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. You shook your head and he shut them again.

 

“I’m going to see Ryan,” you said, lifting his head up and shimmying out from underneath him. “Thor can take over.” You winked at Thor and he slid into your spot.

 

“Wait, what?” Bucky exclaimed, opening his eyes to find Thor beaming down at him, his head on the god’s lap. He sat up quickly and you ran out of the room before he could catch you.

 

You slowed down when you were a safe distance from him and walked up to Ryan’s room. You knocked softly but there was no answer. It had been 3 weeks since the incident with HYDRA and he seemed to be progressing really well. You knocked a little harder but still no reply. You opened the door and stuck your head around it cautiously. There was nobody inside but there was a small note on the bedside table. You sat down on his neatly made bed and read the note.

 

“WITH SAM, I’LL FIND YOU WHEN I’M FINISHED. RYAN.”

 

You sighed and grabbed a pen from the table and wrote “okie doke” underneath it so he knew you were there. You left the note and pen on the table and looked around the room. Suddenly, something emerged from the back of your mind. You picked up his pillow and underneath it, you found a crinkled, folded piece of paper, the one that you had caught him looking at sometimes when you walked in and he wasn’t expecting you.

 

You opened and couldn’t help the tears that prickled at the back of your eyes. It was a picture of the two of you when you were about four, and he was around ten, on Christmas morning. You were sitting on his shoulders with your arms stretched towards the sky, trying to put a carrot on the snowman that stood tall next to you. Ryan’s face was split into a giant grin as he gripped your ankles to keep you from falling as snow fell on your face.

 

You smiled softly as a tear escaped your eye and you wiped it away, sniffling as you folded the photo back up and put it under his pillow again. When you left, you felt your heart surge with happiness and couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Hey doll, you weren’t long,” Bucky said, wrapping an arm around your waist.

 

“Ryan wasn’t there, he’s with Sam,” you said absentmindedly, your eyes hooded and the smile still lingering on your lips.

 

“What’s got you so happy?” Bucky asked, looking at your content face.

 

“It’s nothing, just in a good mood,” you smiled, leaning your head on his shoulder. His smell comforted you so much and you let your eyes drift close. He wrapped both his arms around you and you threw your arms around his waist, not opening your eyes. You stayed like that for so long that you forgot you were still standing.

 

“Are you asleep?” he murmured huskily in your ear. You shivered and sighed.

 

“Almost,” you muttered into his chest. You pulled away and opened your eyes sleepily.

 

“Come on, doll,” he said, kneeling next to you. You climbed onto his back and he hoisted you up as he stood. “For someone who’s part of the Avenger’s team, you certainly are lazy.”

 

“Yeah but it’s endearing,” you joked, snuggling against his back. He carried you to the living room where the rest of the Avengers were taking up most of the couches.

 

“We were about to pick a movie,” Bruce called over his shoulder, tossing the remote to Tony.

 

“What do you guys wanna watch?” he said, flicking through his collection quickly. “Action, thriller, horror, romantic comedy?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at the last one.

 

“Anything that doesn’t have loud noises and explosions,” you groaned as Bucky set you down on the couch next to Steve. He ruffled your hair as Bucky took the seat on the other side of you.

 

“Long day, (Y/N)?” Steve asked and you sighed and put your head on his shoulder.

 

“Hey, you’re supposed to lie on me, not that punk!” Bucky exclaimed jokingly. You pulled his arm and let him fall onto your shoulder.

 

“Now, it’s a cuddle train,” you smiled softly. Your phone buzzed in your pocket as the other’s squabbled over what movie to pick. You wiggled the phone out of your pocket to read the message.

 

“SORRY I’M BEAT, TALK TOMORROW? RYAN.”

 

“SURE, I’LL MAKE YOU BREAKFAST, SLEEP WELL KID X” you typed quickly before sliding the phone back into your pocket.

 

“Can we all agree on The Karate Kid?” Clint asked exasperatedly as him and Tony wrestled for the remote. There was a chorus of okay’s and whatever’s and Tony finally pushed Clint away next to Natasha.

 

“I always had a thing for Johnny Lawrence, I don’t know why,” you reminisced.

 

“Is it because he was blond or because he was a badboy?” Steve asked curiously. The two super soldiers looked at you for a reply.

 

“I’ll let you two figure it out,” you giggled, letting Bucky snuggle up to you as you leant on Steve.

 

You hadn’t even gotten to the part where Daniel LaRusso starts helping out Mr Miyagi at his house before you drifted to sleep contently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh who wouldn't want to be cuddled up with Steve and Bucky, like every persons dreaaaaam
> 
> Anyway, hope you liked this fluff and stuff and YES YOU GOT HAIR PLAYING, SUGGESTED AND SUPPLIED :3
> 
> Thanks for reading xx


	15. Where It All Began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS SO THIS IS THE LAST INSTALLMENT SO DON'T RUSH THROUGH IT ;)  
> ENJOY THIS IT'S GOT FEELS AND FLUFF AND THANKS FOR READING

“Are you sure ready?” You asked, fixing the collar of Ryan’s shirt.

 

“I’m positive,” he said, placing his hands on your shoulders and looking you directly in the eyes. It had been two months since you, Tony, and Steve rescued Bucky and Ryan from HYDRA. Ryan let go of you and grabbed the handle of his suitcase, pulling it up.

 

“I want you to call and text me everyday okay!” you demanded, giving a short laugh to disguise the tremble in your voice.

 

“That’s a slightly unrealistic goal,” he smiled, shouldering a back pack. “But I’ll try my best… Are you sure you won’t come back home with me?” You smiled sadly and shook your head. Ryan was going home to live with your family and would spend the rest of his recovery time there. He definitely wasn’t better yet, but you both decided it was best he stay with relatives.

 

“I belong here,” you whispered softly, glancing over your shoulder at the Avengers behind you. Tony and Clint were flicking each other, Steve and Bruce were talking lowly to each other, Natasha was fiddling with a handgun and its cartridge, and Bucky was staring over at you with a soft expression. You flashed him a quick smile before looking back at Ryan.

 

“I’ll miss you, kiddo,” he grinned, ruffling your hair. You pulled him into a hug and sighed. You took a shivering breath and squeezed your eyes shut; hoping somehow that holding him tighter will leave an imprint of him when he was gone, so that it would feel like he was still kind of there.

 

“I never really did stop missing you,” you murmured, gripping him tighter.

 

“Ease up, (Y/N), you’ll squeeze the life out of me!” he joked, pulling away.

 

“I’m not even going to apologise for that,” you smiled sheepishly. He kissed the top your head and stepped back from you, waving a hand towards the Avengers.

 

“Thanks for everything,” he called to them sincerely.

 

“Anything for a brother of our favourite little ass-kicker,” Tony replied with a smirk.

 

“Goodbye,” I mouthed, not trusting my voice to speak. He returned a last fleeting smile before stepping into the elevator, dragging his suitcase after him. As soon as the doors shut, you held yourself tightly, resting your wrist on your shoulder and letting your head fall on the back of your hand. Suddenly, the ache in your heart subsided when two arms slipped around your waist from behind, one human, one metal.

 

“Are you okay?” Bucky’s low voice whispered in your ear. You leaned into his chest and closed your eyes.

 

“I will be.”

 

You spent the next few hours in your room, listening to punk bands that were no longer relevant and drowning in your teenage past. At around 7 o’clock, there was a sharp knock on the door.

 

“C’min,” you called, your voice muffled by the pillow that you had stuck your head in. You looked up to see Steve peer around the door.

 

“How are you doing?” he asked gently, dressed in gym gear. He sat on the edge of your bed and gave you a sympathetic look.

 

“I’m having an angst-filled moment,” you said vaguely, shoving your face into the pillow again.

 

“Well come on, I’ve got something that will cheer you up,” he said brightly, dragging you out of the bed.

 

“I doubt it,” you sulked, following him as he walked out of the room. You padded down the hall next to him in your fluffy socks, fat pants, and a baggy t shirt. He stopped outside the living room and opened the door, letting your walk in first. The room was almost completely dark and you turned to frown at Steve but he was closing the door behind him, a smirk on his mischievous face.

 

You stepped cautiously towards the couch, where there were several melting candles on the corners of the coffee table, along with a glass vase filled with orange tulips. You took a seat and looked around you. The door the kitchen swung open and Bucky walked out with a box in one hand and two cans stacked like pancakes in the other.

 

“Is that what I think it is?” you exclaimed, eyeing the rectangular box. Sure enough as he sat down next to you, the smell of melted cheese and baked bread wafted towards you.

 

“Now you can have the actual pizza, and not just the crusts,” he smiled, setting the cans on the table and opening the box.

 

“You’re amazing,” you said, barely restraining yourself from diving into the pizza right there and then.

 

“Well I wouldn’t go that far, but I feel I have my moments,” Bucky smirked, scooting closer to you so that your legs touched and he could put his arm around you. Your heart fluttered and your skin prickled where his hand touched your arm.

 

“You didn’t have to do this, you know,” you murmured, resting your head on his shoulder as you pulled a slice of goodness out of the cardboard box on Bucky’s lap.

 

“But I wanted to.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you did.”

 

He reached forward to grab the Coke cans from the table and your head slipped back off of his shoulder and onto the back of the couch.

 

“Ahhh,” you whined and he turned to look at you, bursting out laughing. You elbowed him in the arm, throwing the slice of pizza back into the box, but his eyes were shut tight and he had a huge goofy grin on his face. He looked so adorable that you couldn’t help but snort and shoulder him, pushing him down on the couch and lying on his arm.

 

“Hey, get off,” he grunted, trying to lift you off of him. You giggled and sat up to tickle him (which probably wasn’t very effective because of HIS ROCK HARD ABS!). He squirmed under you and let out a booming laugh before catching you by the wrists with both of his hands.

 

“Your turn,” he winked and you shook your head.

 

“No! Nononononono, TRUCE, TRUCE!” you screamed, holding out the palms of your hands. You wiggled off of him and flopped onto the couch after he let go of his grip. You picked up your discarded slice of pizza and took a bite as Bucky sat up straight and fixed his arm around your shoulders again. You let yourself lean against him and stayed like that until all of the pizza and Coke were gone.

 

“Thank you,” you said sleepily, yawning as you put your cheek on his chest.

 

“I’d do anything for you,” he said quietly, leaning down and kissing your cheek. You tilted your head to look up to him staring deeply at you.

 

“James…” you whispered before he kissed you softly on the lips.

 

“Do you want to know why?” he asked hesitantly. You nodded slowly, his blue eyes gazing into yours. Your heart thudded faster and faster, beating against your ribcage.

 

“(Y/N)…. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWWWWWWWWWW I'M SO SAD THAT IT'S OVER, IT WAS THE FIRST REAL FIC I'VE DONE SO THANK YOU ALL WHO READ THIS FAR AND I REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPED YOU LIKED IT AND I'LL END UP WRITING MORE BUCKY FICS SO KEEP AN EYE OUT ;)  
> THANKS FOR READING, I LOVE YOU GUYS  
> XX


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